The Christian Working Woman

is WORRY choking your faith?

2011-11-09T08:58:00.000-08:00

Our invited guest Florence MacKenzie wrote this article for managing your emotions, published in Just Between Us, Winter 2011.

Are you aworrier? I am. After all, there often seemsgood reason to worry. Am I not being irresponsible if I don’t worry in somesituations? Could it be that, by worrying, I’m actually making it less likelythat the thing I’m worried about will happen? Is worry, therefore, serving auseful function? The answer, of course, is NO!

The word worry comes from the Old English, meaningto choke or strangle. It also carries the idea of being pulled in differentdirections. Worry pulls you apart. It’s very divisive. Have you ever noticedthat worry divides your mind? You find you cannot focus on the task in front ofyou because worrying about something else distracts you and divides yourattention. Worry also divides your will. It’s hard to make even the smallestdecisions when you’re worried. One minute you’re making one decision, the nextyou’re pulled in the opposite direction and are considering making a differentdecision. Worry also divides your emotions. Sometimes it appears you’re incontrol of your feelings; at other times worry pulls your emotions in all sortsof directions so you end up not really knowing how you feel.

Iwas reading in Matthew’s gospel recently where Jesus gave some straight talk onworry to His disciples. He told them not to worry about everyday life; or abouthaving enough food, drink and clothes; or about tomorrow. He concluded histeaching on worry by commenting on what little faith His disciples had. This mademe wonder about the connection between worry and faith. Did they have a problemwith worry because they had a problem with faith? If so, might the same be trueof me? Perhaps if my faith were stronger and healthier, worry wouldn’t havesuch a stranglehold over me. This realization came to me when I was walkingaround our yard. Let me tell you about it.

Welive in a house with a large outdoor area which is mostly made up of grass.Neither my husband nor I are keen gardeners and, as a result, the quality ofour grass is less than perfect. As I looked at the grass on my recentwalk-about, I could see all sorts of things growing there that we hadn’tplanted, like moss, clover, dandelion, and lots of others I couldn’t name! Somewhereamong these weeds was the grass we had planted but it was being crowded out bythese invaders. That’s when it hit me – the unwelcome weeds taking over ourgrass werelike worries that choke the life of faith in us.

Butwhat could we do about it? Given the huge size of the yard, there was no way wecould pull these weeds out individually. We knew from past experience that newweeds would soon take root to replace the ones we had removed. I had recentlyread that the key to controlling weeds is to keep the grass as healthy aspossible. So, instead of the weeds crowding out the grass, perhaps the grasswould begin to crowd out the weeds if we spent more time tending it by feedingand watering it regularly. From that point on, growing a healthy lawn becameour main gardening goal! Do you see how this relates to the need to focus moreon building up the “grass” of our faith rather than concentrating primarily ongetting rid of the “weeds” of worry in our lives?

Buthow might you do this? Why not try these “faith-builders”:

· FOCUS on the truth that it is impossible to please God without faith(Hebrews11:6).

· FIX your eyes on Jesus on whom your faith depends from start to finish(Hebrews12:2).

· FEED your faith by reminding yourself of the many promises found in theBible.

· FILL unoccupied moments with praise to God, for example, while stoppedat a red light or standing in line at the grocery store.

· FREE up a few minutes each day to appreciate how blessed you are─andthen thank God for this!

· FOLLOW through on replenishing relationships by getting in touch withpeople who will refresh you spiritually and emotionally.

· FINISH the day by thanking God for the faith He has given you and ask Himto show you how you can keep translating it into action.

Let’s make it really hard for worry to choke our faith!

FlorenceMacKenzie has a degree in psychology and a diploma in expository preaching. Sheis the author of severalbooks, including Destructive Emotions: Facing up to Guilt, Fear and Anger. She also ministers with herhusband James through Equipped for Living (http://www.equippedforliving.org).

Coming In By the Back Door

2011-09-12T12:44:00.000-07:00

Manypeople feel their lives are ruined because of some failure in their past. Ruinedmight be too strong a word, but relentless shame or a feeling of disgrace mayplague them.

I remember when I failed terribly in front of some of my peers ina business meeting. My behavior was unkind and out of control—truly sad. Evenworse, one of those peers was a man who I had been trying to help in his walkwith God.

As I thoughtabout what I did, I wanted to run away. But the Spirit of God led me not onlyto go back, but to share my feelings of failure with my friend. The next day Itold him how sorry I was that I had failed to be Christ-like in my actions. Ialso shared that I had been forgiven by God and that the failure was not fatalin God's sight. Then I learned that one of my friend’s greatest struggles was dealingwith his own failures, and from that experience he began to understand that hisown failures were not fatal either.

Godspecializes in taking our failures and turning them into avenues of blessingand growth if we will allow him to. The Apostle Peter is a good example of howGod can turn our failures into stepping stones.

Justbefore Peter failed Jesus by denying him, Jesus said to him, "Simon,Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon,that your faith may not fail." Yet, knowing the great failure Peter was toface in just a few short hours, Jesus did not treat him with contempt.

Peoplehold our failures against us; Jesus doesn't. People refuse to give you second-chances; Jesus doesn't. People look at failure as the end of theroad; Jesus sees it as a place of new beginning.

Jesustold Peter he had already prayed for him, that "when you have turnedback," he would strengthen his brothers. Jesus believed that even thoughPeter was going to fail miserably, he could have a comeback. As a result offailing and coming back, Peter would be able to strengthen his brothers. Thoughit wasn't right for Peter to fail Jesus as he did, nonetheless that failure wasused by God to help Peter become the mighty apostle we read about in Acts.

Do yousee what I mean about failure? God is able to use it for good in our lives. Godcan even turn it into an avenue of service.

Do youfeel totally guilt-ridden, as though you've had a fatal failure? Please understandthis marvelous truth: Jesus is in thebusiness of restoration and recovery. Your failure can be your back door to anew beginning.

What’s Your Score?

2011-09-07T07:23:00.000-07:00

Many people think the Christian motto is “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Luke 6:31. People often evaluate a Christian’s sincerity by how well they live this out. Whether or not it is a valid measure, and whether or not we are conscious of it, this verse is a key factor in our testimony. Based on that, if you were under the scrutiny of an official critic, what kind of a rating would you receive?

This question becomes a grim thought as I observe behavior in the church parking lot, or eavesdrop on a phone conversation in the church office, or watch as committee members gather for a meeting, or watch myself getting in line to board a plane. It is disheartening to see that Christians are often unkind, belligerent and inconsiderate. It makes me stop to think through my own conduct. In specific terms, what would happen if I really began to treat others the way I would want to be treated? How about you?

Well, imagine that you’re driving to work, and a person is trying to move over into your lane. Instead of getting angry, you would think, "You know, I'm going to do for this person what I would want this person to do for me." So, you slow down and let them in the lane.

Now, you're pulling into the parking lot on this rainy morning, and you see a co-worker without an umbrella. You remember how miserable it is to start the day rain-soaked, so you rush over and share your umbrella, and in the process you get to know them a little better.

Imagine you’ve just arrived at work and you get a call from a very upset customer. Normally you might feel you’re getting treated unfairly and you would get defensive. But the Holy Spirit reminds you to put yourself in their shoes. That will help you respond with the thought, “I can understand how this might upset that customer." By putting yourself in that customer's shoes, you're going to say the right words and try to solve their problem. Otherwise, if you had gotten defensive, your tone of voice might have been harsh, you might have been abrupt, and the problem could have gotten worse.

Have you ever put yourself in your manager's shoes? I notice that employees tend to blame their managers without ever stopping to think about what that manager has to deal with. Think about who they report to, the budget problems they're facing, the reduction in staff they're trying to cope with, etc. If you were in their shoes, how would you want your employees to treat you?

When we develop this ability to put ourselves in the other person's shoes, we reduce our own stress. For example, if I'm dealing with a co-worker who is negative, complaining and irritable most of the time, I can reduce the stress they bring into my life by stopping and thinking, "Yeah, but if I didn't know Jesus, I'd be that way, too, or worse." That allows you to be compassionate, even with a person who is less than pleasant.

Your kindness will result in people responding more positively to you. You will discover new friendships, you will gain a greater sense of peace, you will have wider influence, you will be more successful. But the real benefit is, it will make you a better representative of Jesus Christ. Your testimony will ring true. Who knows what impact that might have on others.

I want to remember to pray Luke 6:31 into my life daily. You, too, may want to ask God to empower you to treat others the way you would want to be treated. It's a very simple approach to life, but it could score you a ten and change your life.

It’s All Tied Up

2011-09-02T06:37:00.000-07:00

Remember when Jesus asked two disciples to get him a donkey for a ride into Jerusalem? This donkey was tied up, and Jesus instructed them to untie it and bring it to him. It had to take a little bit of nerve to walk up to this colt and start untying it. It wasn’t their colt.

When they started to untie it, the owners asked them what they were doing. I can imagine that they were a little perturbed to see two strangers taking their prized colt. But when the disciples explained that Jesus needed this colt, they were more than willing to let him use it.

They must have known Jesus in some way. Maybe they had heard Jesus speak; maybe they'd seen him heal someone or cast out a demon. I don't believe they would have let that donkey go if they hadn't met and known Jesus. But once they knew the colt was for him, they were okay with it. As was true for them, when we've met Jesus, it is also a great joy for us to give something back to the Him. But often we miss God's blessings because what he wants to use, we have all tied up for ourselves.

As I read this, I thought, "What do I have tied up that the Lord wants to use?" I think many times we've got resources and abilities that God would use in his service, but they're all tied up. It may be time, or money, or a home, or other things.

When we hoard those things for our own use, we miss out on one of the greatest joys in life—that is to see how God would use us and what we have if we were willing to let him have access to it. If we would simply untie our treasure, we would be humbled and grateful for the experience of being used in some specific way to accomplish God’s purpose. That kind of fulfillment cannot be matched.

What we offer doesn't have to be fancy or splendid. All that God asks for is availability.

What have you got tied up that Jesus wants to use?

Change Your Attitude With the ABC's

2011-08-29T11:26:00.000-07:00

A friend said, "Mary, I've just been in the dumps lately, thinking about being single, wishing I were married, feeling lonely, feeling sorry for myself. What do I do?" Maybe the answer I gave her will be helpful to you, too.

I simply said, "Linda, start praising God." She knew the principle but had just forgotten to practice it.

The next week she told me, "I went home and started praising God for all his goodness to me and in short order, my spirits were lifted, the self-pity was gone, and I was able to truly be thankful for who I am and what I have."

Praising God changes us. Maybe you know the principle, too, but you just haven't practiced it lately. This is not something we learn once and for all. Becoming a person of praise is a daily lesson.

Here's one way I’ve found to get praise started, even when I don’t feel like it: Go through the alphabet thinking of one word per letter that expresses why you should praise God. A—he's almighty, B—he's benevolent, C—He's coming again—and on and on. By the time you get to the end, your attitude will be adjusted; your perspective will be changed.

Please, let me know how it goes for you.

How Did You Get De-Railed?

2011-08-23T09:01:00.000-07:00

Are you paying attention? I’m talking about keeping tuned in to what you know about God. What happens when we just coast, or when we get lazy about our faith?

For one thing, anxiety and unrest move in. Discontent seeps in when we have not been practicing what we have been taught. Look at what Isaiah said:

Isaiah 48:17-18 I am the Lord your God who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea.

"If you had paid attention..." Isaiah wrote. It's rarely a deliberate decision on our part to wander from God's principles. It's usually just a simple failure to pay attention. Our focus gets fractured; our center moves slightly off-center, because in some small ways we have failed to pay attention. A little side step gets us off-track, and then the next step gets us further away. Like a train, once de-railed we go into a skid. And the result is loss: loss of peace, loss of blessings, loss of fellowship.

If you're feeling anxious, or restless, or out of sorts today, check it out. Have you failed to pay attention to God's will for you? Stop and take inventory. Where have you stopped doing what you knew you should? You can get back on-track, and know peace again and have the fellowship you've been missing. ‘Fess up and let God cleanse you first, and then turn back to get on the rails again.

One Way In

2011-08-19T10:00:00.000-07:00

Has God changed lately? It seems like it when you examine the attitudes you rub shoulders with every day. But let’s take a closer look.

Many people today shape God into a form they can manipulate and re-model as they wish. Many people want to come to God on their terms, expecting God to compromise His standards when necessary, to change His word, to make an exception. But is God like that?

Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. This verse is pretty clear. It says God is immutable—He never changes, His principles never change.

If we want to come to God then, it needs to be on His terms, not ours. But the good news is God's door is always open if we will come in His way, and that's through Jesus Christ, and Him alone.

John 14:6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

It’s settled then. God hasn’t changed; He is always the same. And there is only one way into fellowship with Him. I’m going to meditate on that today. How about you?

Attitude Check-UP

2011-08-16T07:33:00.000-07:00

On June 15, 2011, I launched a challenge to all of us to take on a more positive focus in our lives. How are you doing with that? What about me? I said I would report later about how I’m doing, so here I am, 2 months later.

Well, this has certainly been a period of negative news features; there has been tough weather across the nation all summer; it’s been a time of financial pressure and stress in the economy; it’s the season for vacationing fellow workers and juggling workloads. All that can make for a very negative environment at work. But I’ve found the discipline of forming a positive attitude about work to be bringing about change. I’ve noticed that a more positive focus leads to a more cheerful attitude, even if I’m not perfect at it yet. All the negatives are still in place, but with this challenge for the positive, I see the downers less. It’s like they’re off in my peripheral vision, not front center.

I want to keep working on this. A negative spirit is always lurking in the wings, waiting to step back on center stage, so I need to stay disciplined. Let me know if you have any victories to report in this standoff. We might be able to help each other.

you’re WORTH it!

2011-08-12T07:53:00.000-07:00

Our invited guest Florence MacKenzie wrote this article for managing your emotions, published in Just Between Us, Fall 2011.

While surfing the Internet recently, I came across a blog post that wanted to discover what issues women were most concerned about. Of the various topics mentioned, one seemed to dominate all the others. Self-worth!

It’s a fact that many women are in a constant battle with self-worth issues. These can range from thoughts of unfavorably comparing themselves with others to thinking they’re completely useless. If this describes you, you’re not alone. Many Christian women are living in defeat and not enjoying all God has for them because they place very little value on themselves. Perhaps negative events in their past have eroded any sense of self-worth they might have had. They blame themselves for any rejection they’ve experienced and believe that, if they could only perform better or please a particular person more, they could earn acceptance. My friend, Margi, was like this. She lived most of her life as if she had no right to be here. She once told me that she sometimes felt she should apologize for breathing! As the third child born to a single mom, Margi thought of herself as an inconvenient accident that wasn’t worth very much. Insensitive comments and judgmental remarks from others did nothing to alter her perception. One of the consequences of this was she frequently misappropriated responsibility to herself for any trouble that came into her life.

On the other hand, there are women who think their value or self-worth can be measured in terms of successes they’ve already achieved. In effect, they’re building their worth on their own accomplishments. I recently met a woman who used to do just that. She had struggled with self-worth issues for many years and, as a musician who headed up the worship team at women’s conferences, she linked her feelings of self-worth to how well she sang at each event. She couldn’t believe anyone could like her for who she was. Any appreciation they had for her must surely be because of her singing ability and it was on this that she based her value as a person. The trouble with this outlook was it caused her self-worth to fluctuate—when she sang well, she felt good about herself, but when she thought her performance was below par, she was filled with feelings of self-doubt. Not surprisingly, this yo-yo pattern of how she viewed herself played havoc with her peace of mind.

For these women, and for all Christians who struggle with issues of self-worth, there is good news. Our value is not determined by what we do, but is based on what God has done for us: He has rescued, redeemed and forgiven us (Col.1:13,14)! We are immensely valuable and precious to Him! Once we begin to appreciate what He thinks of us, we’ll be less likely to buy in to the inadequate perspective others might have of us or even our own faulty view of ourselves. God doesn’t look on the outward appearance, but on the heart. He doesn’t value us because of our successes or consider us worthless because of our failures. We are valuable because He made us and we belong to Him (Ps.100:3); He supervised our development in the womb and planned our days in advance (Ps.139:16); He tells us He cares even for the sparrow and Jesus reminds us we are worth more than many sparrows (Matt.10:31). And, to top it all, we are so valuable to Him that He thought we were worth dying for so we could know the freedom of His forgiveness and spend all eternity with Him in heaven. Can it get any better than this?

Do you ever doubt your value? Are you allowing what other people think of you, or even your own view of yourself, to eclipse God’s perspective of you? As followers of Jesus Christ, we ought to be more concerned about His view of us than anyone else’s view. He created us and, as someone once said, “God don’t make no junk!” Only when we grasp the amazing truth that our identity is found as new creations in Christ, will we be ready to hold our heads high, knowing we are daughters of the King.

Florence MacKenzie holds an honors degree in psychology and a Diploma in Expository Preaching. She is the author of several books, including Destructive Emotions: Facing Up to Guilt, Fear and Anger. She is a member of the preaching team at her home church and is married to James. Visit them at http://www.equippedforliving.org.

She Sounds Just Like Her Mother

2011-08-09T09:05:00.000-07:00

Recently my daughter and her family were visiting us. Her 2-year-old was playing “Mommy,” earnestly putting her baby to bed. As I eavsedropped, I heard her say the same phrases her Mommy says, use the same tone of voice, give the same care to the arrangement of the blankets, and devote the same loving attention to the bedtime procedures. I thought, “She sounds just like her mother.” In fact, my granddaughter was practicing in order to grow to be just like her Mommy.

Children learn through imitation; it’s a principle we learn in education. It’s also a principle taught in the Bible.

Ephesians 5:1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children (NASB).

Here we are told to imitate God, but the reason for it is found in the previous verses.

Ephesians 4:23-24 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

In other words, in order to change to be like God, we should imitate him like a child would imitate his father. Imitating him helps us actually take on his attitudes and godly character. I would love to hear someone say of me, “She sounds just like her heavenly father.” But there is another reason for us to imitate God.

When I heard my granddaughter, my first thought was, “Look what that shows me about her Mommy.” Her imitations gave me a glimpse of the kind of mother my daughter was. That works the same way with those who observe us. By our imitations, the observer gets a glimpse of what God is like. That picture is one way to put God in realistic terms that are understandable to someone else.

So there is a double challenge here for me: imitate God in order to grow to be like him and in such a way that others will come to know him. That may challenge you as well.

Pizazz I Can Take Home

2011-08-06T07:06:00.000-07:00

Mary is back from Africa now. The highlight stories have been recounted, the bags are unpacked and put in storage, the reports have been made, and the photos will soon be filed. The trip was exciting and rewarding and worthwhile. But now the pizazz is neutralized by the return to regular life. Does that mean that the normal work days that lie ahead for us now will be mundane and of no account?

Nope! Here’s why. We continue to reach out to encourage marketplace Christians, to apply biblical principles to work day issues, to help Christians live out their faith on the job. And in return, we hear comments like this one that just arrived in my inbox:

This web site has been a great inspiration to my life as a "Christian Working Woman". It has been a blessing to my life.

Or like this one Mary received recently:
Mary, thank you so much for your inspiring messages. Your messages touch me to the bones. I have always desired to make a difference in people’s lives in my daily work and walk with God. You should know you have contributed a great deal in this.

Or like this comment after a seminar:
I am inspired to go back to work to put in practice what I learned.

As long as lives are changed and there is evidence of God’s work through our efforts, can our work ever be called mundane? No. I would say that is real pizazz to take home at the end of the workday.

Baggage Allowance = 2 (50-lb) Bags Per Person

2011-08-02T07:21:00.000-07:00

In recent years, I have traveled with Mary to Africa many times. Among other things, my task was to pack for the trip. That also meant re-packing for the trip home. At the start of the packing process, my mind’s eye viewed the task something like the photo above. The challenge would be to organize it all and squeeze it down into 4 tidy 50-pound bags.

Of course, I didn’t actually have all those suitcases to contend with, but I did have a hodge-podge of materials to maneuver into the stipulated size, shape and weight for international flight baggage allowance. Today, Mary and Traci are tackling that process as they prepare to return to the USA tomorrow.

Let’s just imagine for a minute what their suitcases might contain on the return trip:

There will be the memories of many faces and smiles and arm clasp/shoulder pats (African equivalent to American hugs). They were part of the joyful welcome from the women anticipating blessings at each location.
There will be the compassionate prayers of African sisters supporting their American sisters on their long journey home.
We need to include some stories of interesting foods, puzzling customs and shopping ventures.
Photos of new friends and recently discovered ministry partners will be tucked in between layers of encouragement in finding dedicated people serving God in difficult situations.
I also see a heap of fulfillment in being able to teach and minister to women with responsive hearts, where God was invited in to work.
But there is a collection of regret too, that the problems were too great to resolve in such a short time, that the money just couldn’t spread further, and that there were some who went away to return to heart-breaking situations we didn’t even learn about until later.

When Mary and Traci arrive at the airport to check in their bags, the airline workers will have no idea what treasures their scanners are examining. They will pass through customs without notice too. But God will know what’s in them. May He use them for His glory and purpose.

Here and Half Way Around the World

2011-07-28T13:23:00.000-07:00

Today, Mary and Traci went to a church in a remote part of Kenya to conduct a conference for the Tabitha Ministry. Tabitha is a Bible study ministry that also reaches out to help meet the physical needs of those involved, when the individual shows an exceptional indication of responsibility and integrity. Today’s sessions were for tribal women who are leading Bible studies in small primitive villages.

The women can participate in a rigorous scripture memory program that, when completed, earns them a Bible in their own language. In the picture, the women are happily holding up the rewards of their dedication to learning the assigned verses. However, they not only learn to recite the verses, but they have learned to assimilate the truth of the verses into their lives. Their faith is based on those verses.

Mary came back hoarse because there was not an adequate audio system, so she had to speak loudly throughout each message. She was tired at the end of the day, but she said:
“Had a wonderful day with 300 Bible study leaders of Tabitha. It was so encouraging to hear them report that they remembered my messages from last year. Music to a teacher's ears! Thanks to those who are supporting our ministry here.”

And thanks be to God whose word says: faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word (Romans 10:17)...both here and half way around the world.

Showers of Blessing

2011-07-27T11:48:00.000-07:00

For the remainder of the week, Mary and Traci will be in remote locations in Kenya, visiting the Tabitha Bible study ministry, and speaking to leaders and hospital workers in the area.

Yesterday the scene was the home of one of the Bible study organizers. In the photo, the lady of the house welcomed everyone to her home, all decked out for the festive occasion. But at the set starting time, hardly anyone was there. Little by little women arrived from across the valley and kept coming, and kept coming...and kept coming. After an hour or so the room was filled to capacity, women shoulder to shoulder, front touching back, squeezed in for food and to hear Mary speak. Her message encouraged them, but they were in store for another blessing. It rained! It poured. It came down in buckets for about an hour! Hallelujah!

After yesterday's blog, you can understand the importance of that downpour. It didn't mean the drought was over, but it did refresh all who came. They left with smiling faces and hearts brimming. It was a good afternoon together. They will meet up again tomorrow for a big one-day conference with over 300 of their friends. Maybe it will rain again tomorrow too! I hope so.

Power Outage Means Trouble Ahead

2011-07-25T11:21:00.000-07:00

The concert of prayer shown in the photo was the way Mary closed the conference in Nairobi. It was timely to devote the session to prayer, in view of the hardships these women are facing. Although our recent blogs have presented reasons for praise as Mary ministers in Africa, today we got news that sobered us. Mary sent us a message that in Kenya, notice has just gone out that there will be planned power outages beginning Wednesday, due to low water levels.

That is more than just an inconvenience. The lack of rain from a prolonged drought has been causing food shortages, leading to severe malnutrition in certain sectors, and even death. And food prices are climbing fast, with a 60-80% increase in the last 2 years. The low water levels, in turn, impact hydroelectric productivity. The lack of electrical power leads to all sorts of business struggles, and households face yet another challenge. All of these factors lead to critical health issues, and the downward spiral continues. The dominoes are falling one by one, as failure in one domain brings about crisis in another.

That one short paragraph over-simplifies the situation, of course. But it does make us think about the troubled lives of the people Mary ministers to there. It also reminds us that she needs protection, discernment and strength as she continues her journey, now made more complicated by the lack of electrical power. The power outages impact the airport as well, so please pray that Mary's flight on August 2 will be able to depart as scheduled.

As I said at the beginning, Mary ended her Nairobi conference with a concert of prayer. That helped the women tap into the one true source of power to meet life's challenges. The electrical power outages may bring trouble, but they can also be a reminder to turn to God himself for power in daily living. Let us join them and pray for God's help for the nation, as well as for Mary's outreach there.

You've Earned a Certificate

2011-07-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

Mary closed the conference in Nairobi Friday. They commemorated the day by awarding a certificate to each one who had 100% attendance. However, the "award" that Mary earned is receiving notes like this: I just really don't know how to express to you my gratitude. I am so sure you came to speak to me. I have been going through so much and one thing I can surely testify is that God's timing is always the best. I have learned so much and I am really ready and willing to allow the Holy Spirit to transform me into being the woman that God created me to be. The topic on the book of Ruth left quite a great impact on me. God bless you.

Well, God has blessed Mary. It's a privilege for her to be able to make the long trip, teach dedicated African women in ministry, be God's mouthpiece with transforming power, and have the backing of sincere women back home who pray and donate funds to make it all possible. See Africa 2011 for the back story.

She will take a couple days to rest and re-group, and then be off to another location for other speaking opportunities. You can follow along using her itinerary.

If you are praying as she travels and attending the conferences in spirit, then you have become an honorary attendee. You can claim the certificate above. Congratulations!

Nairobi News

2011-07-21T07:33:00.000-07:00

The conference Women of Excellence that Mary is leading in Nairobi is an effective leadership training seminar for women in ministry. Yesterday Mary taught "When You've Been Wronged" about how to deal biblically with the pain of the past. Some of these women have suffered great injustice and abuse and have dealt with issues that do not have obvious solutions, so this was a significant message.

Mary ended the session with a challenge for those who wanted to show one step in the process as they faced these matters personally. As at a funeral, (see above photo) they could come forward to bring a flower to place on a symbolic "coffin" to express their commitment to "bury the wrongs done to them in the past." Mary writes: It seemed to be very meaningful to them, and we praise God for some breakthroughs that many women had.

These days have been fruitful, and Mary has been able to see some of what God has accomplished. Your prayers have contributed to that. She has also been pleased to make contacts throughout the city that will be helpful for future ministry there, for example finding a trustworthy driver, connecting to a Bible-centered church, and working with a well-equipped printer. These are just a few of the details that are important to her safety and effectiveness, so we are grateful for God's provision. Join us in praying for these and the other elements essential to support her as she and Traci continue their journey throughout Kenya. But especially, please pray for the spiritual impact of their efforts. Maybe you could even ask a friend to join you in praying and in following along on the journey spiritually.

Sharing the Joy from Uganda

2011-07-20T07:01:00.000-07:00

Mary has now moved on to ministry in Kenya. Her first stop is Nairobi, where she is already leading another 4-day conference that began yesterday. She and Traci are enjoying the fellowship of the team there, pictured above.

But we are still hearing from women in Uganda who were touched by the messages Mary and Traci presented there. Here is a word from them:

I have learned a lot from your presentations, especially from the Book of Ruth, the definition of Ezer and to know I am an ezer-warrior. I saw clearly our position in our homes, church and communities. I now feel confident and bold for I am an ezer-warrior. God bless you.

Thank you so much for taking time to prepare and for choosing good messages that touch our hearts. Since the time you began to come here, you have encouraged me, equipped me and I will use these messages to teach women in Southwestern region of this country in our January conference.

The Word of God is powerful, and it is a joy to see it transforming the lives of those who hear it. I'll post news tomorrow from Mary in Nairobi.

What We Heard About Uganda

2011-07-18T08:41:00.000-07:00

Before Mary left Uganda, she sent us this word about the conference there:

After my presentation on Ruth, an Ezer Warrior, there were several women who expressed how it had given them an entirely new understanding of the story of Ruth and Naomi. One older woman made the comment that it was a good lesson to all the mothers-in-law. Many times there are serious conflicts between mothers-and daughters-in-law because the mothers-in-law are very critical and demanding. She challenged the mothers-in-law to be like Naomi!

It is rewarding for Mary to be used by God to teach the Word to women who are eager to learn and diligent to apply the truth to their lives. As you can tell, they will take these lessons home and will be "Timothys", ...reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others (2 Timothy 2:2.) So Mary's contribution begins a ripple that spreads out far across the country.

Next destination: Kenya. Pray with us that God will accomplish His purpose in the conference in Nairobi this week. Itinerary for Prayer

What Is Happening In Uganda Today?

2011-07-15T08:15:00.000-07:00

Mary is in Uganda, ending the conference today that I told you about yesterday. Her travel associate is Traci Mason. Her presentation yesterday, Overcoming Obstacles and Moving Forward, challenged the women to identify their obstacles and not allow them to keep them from doing what God wants them to do. After the message, a young woman stood to give a testimony:

Yesterday I received a request to do a job for someone, but I felt that it was just too much for me. But my husband encouraged me to do it. Then, this morning, when I thought about it again, I was afraid I really couldn't do it. So I decided I would call them today and tell them I couldn't. But after hearing Traci this morning, I knew God was speaking to me. I realized I needed to overcome this obstacle of fear, and now I'm not going to make that call. I'm going to do what they asked me to do, with God's help.

What a joy to receive that kind of immediate response to a message! I know God is at work through Mary and Traci, so let's praise Him together for what He is doing.

Where is Mary?

2011-07-14T07:30:00.000-07:00

Mary is ministering in Uganda this week. Right now she is teaching a 4-day conference for women called Women of Excellence. The Christian Working Woman provides this ministry through the donations of people like you, our supporters. I thought you might appreciate reading this note one of the women attending handed to Mary yesterday:

God used you three years ago to heal my bitterness about being single. I got married last year, thank God, but I had found peace in remaining single, if that was God's will for me. Thanks for reminding me that being married to the wrong man is worse than being single. You are a perfect picture of God's restoration.

It's encouraging to see this example of what God is doing through your gifts. I hope it lifts your spirit today. Check in another day for an update on Africa 2011.

Next week Mary will be doing the same thing in Kenya, so please follow her with your prayer support.

Positive or Negative?

2011-06-15T13:14:00.000-07:00

A study shows if we have a positive experience, we tell three people. But if we have a negative experience, we tell eleven people! Whoa! When I read that I caught my breath. Do I really do that? I suppose the negatives test our character, so they may become exaggerated in our minds; we think about them, talk about them more, and become more disturbed by them. And it looks like we make a lot of other people share in our trouble too.

But that isn’t how I want to be. You neither, I would suppose. So how do we become more positive?

It's good to look at what Paul wrote: "Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything..." (Ephesians 5:19-20). Paul didn't write that we are to feel thankful, but we can still choose to be thankful by reciting words of thanks and by thinking about our Father, the God over all.

If you are having some difficulty with your work attitude now, are you willing to put this passage to the test? First, start singing in your heart to the Lord. Then thank God for whatever it is that you don't like in your life right now. Then tell 3 people about something positive in your life. And by a set of your will, choose to be thankful. Now that’s a challenge for all of us.

For me, this is the perfect week to begin to apply this test. I’ll let you know later how I’m doing. Who else is willing to rise to this challenge?

The Freedom of FORGIVENESS

2011-05-16T10:30:00.000-07:00

“If you don’t come to tea with Amy on Friday, I’ll never forgive you!” Even at ten, I thought this outburst from my friend’s aunt was rather extreme. Never to be forgiven if I refused an invitation to tea? Apparently not, as Aunt Millie had decided that forgiving such an offense was not an option.

I’m guessing that most of us probably don’t find it too difficult to forgive minor upsets but we draw the line at forgiving people who’ve really hurt us. Perhaps we try to rationalize this by saying, “But he/she doesn’t deserve to be forgiven.” Well, you’re probably right. But if people are forgiven only if they deserve it, none of us would qualify!

As I grapple with this issue in my own life, I’m discovering that forgiveness is not what I thought it was. For example:

Forgiveness is not saying my hurts don’t matter. Forgiving my offender doesn’t minimize the seriousness of the offense against me.
Forgiveness is not letting the offender “get away with it.” If someone wrongs me, he/she is answerable to God, and He will deal with that person in the right way.
Forgiveness is not forgetting. Only God has the capacity to forgive and forget and Jer.31:34 tells us that His “forgetfulness” is a deliberate choice not to remember.
Forgiveness is not a weapon. Forgiving someone doesn’t give me the right to manipulate them at a later date by dredging up reminders of their “forgiven” offense.
Forgiveness is not reconciliation. I can forgive, but I might never be brought into a right relationship with the person who has wronged me because he/she might not be willing to cooperate.
Forgiveness is not easy. I can’t do this on my own and need God’s Spirit to see me through.

I like to think of forgiveness as giving up my right to pay back or get even with someone who has wronged me. When I see it this way, I find a freedom that I otherwise wouldn’t have. “I forgive you” no longer implies my hurts are insignificant, nor does it indicate the one who wronged me is “off the hook.” It forces me to face up to the reality that I don’t have to live in denial by pretending the offense never happened and it removes the responsibility for reconciliation from me alone. It also draws me closer to God as I seek His help in extending forgiveness.

Forgiveness is our call. We can choose to forgive or, like Aunt Millie, we can choose to address our offender by thinking, “I’ll never forgive you!” However, there’s a problem with the latter option. Refusing to forgive someone has serious consequences for our spiritual and emotional well-being because it keeps us in bondage to that person for the rest of our lives. Instead of experiencing the freedom that forgiveness brings, we’ll find ourselves increasingly bound by anger, bitterness and resentment.

It’s not unusual to feel angry when someone has hurt us deeply. Neither is it always wrong to be angry. But, if we allow that anger to continue unresolved, we make it easy for bitterness to take root deep in our souls. This “root” of bitterness can then show itself in the “weed” of resentment where we find ourselves keeping a record of wrongs that only intensifies our hurt as we keep rehearsing our offense. Perhaps it’s time to apply the “weed-killer” of forgiveness! But how do we do this? The letters of the word FORGIVE give us some pointers.

Face the fact that withholding forgiveness feeds anger, bitterness, and resentment.
Openly admit these feelings to God.
Remind yourself that God, in Christ, has forgiven you.
Give up your right to pay back your offender.
Invite the Holy Spirit’s help as you begin the process of forgiveness.
View your offender as one whom God will deal with justly.
Embrace the freedom that forgiving your offender brings.

When I treat weeds in my yard, one application of weed-killer is not usually sufficient and I need to repeat the process, sometimes several times. The same is true in extending forgiveness. Those bitter roots will put up a fight, but don’t give up. Aunt Millie may not have discovered the freedom of forgiveness, but we can – by choosing to forgive. Let’s go for it!

by Florence MacKenzie
This article was originally published in Just Between Us, Summer 2011

How TCWW and YOU have helped in Haiti

2011-05-04T13:37:00.000-07:00

Last year after the terrible earthquake in Haiti, we asked you to help a woman named Bernadette who lost everything. Our missionary friends, David and Patricia Carwell, put us in touch with her and through them we sent your donations to help rebuild her home. Here is what Patricia recently wrote to me:

So much GOOD has happened for Bernadette and her daughters, Sandra and Bernadine, since the earthquake; the Lord has showered them with one blessing after another. The contributions from your listeners was essential in helping toward rebuilding their home.

The house is still not completed because we have run out of funds. BUT, it is livable. The girls are in school thanks to a donor who pays their monthly tuition. Bernadette has a job working part=time, and is trying to manage on her own. A million thank yous from Bernadette, the girls and the Carwells from Haiti.

Click here to view pictures of Bernadette's house being rebuilt, and the men who worked hard to finish it. Also, David Carwell is pictured with Bernadette and her daughter, and the happy day he handed Bernadette the key to her new home.

Thanks to all of you who helped.

That's Just the way I Am

2011-04-13T10:18:00.000-07:00

All of us have personality weaknesses. For example, I am not a naturally patient person, so I could just give myself a pass and say, "That’s just the way I am."

But the Bible teaches me that a fruit of the Spirit is patience, so I can't use my personality weakness as a defense. Rather, I have to work harder at learning to be patient and make it a matter of earnest, daily prayer.

Often people use—"That's just the way I am"—as an excuse for not facing their faults. But until we're willing to look in God's mirror, his Word, and recognize the areas that need improvement, we will keep missing out on God's best for our lives.

What areas in your life have you been excusing or ignoring with this common copout? Is it your sharp tongue? Or your lazy streak? Or your tendency to be late? Whether it's something minor or major, as long as you justify yourself with "That's the way I am, " you'll never have victory in that area of your life.

I encourage you to get rid of the ploy "That's the way I am," and ask God to continue to transform you into the image of Jesus Christ with ever-increasing glory.

Nobody’s Perfect. Right?

2011-04-06T10:04:00.000-07:00

Often we say, " Nobody’s perfect. " That's true, but don't you think we sometimes use that as a copout to be less than we could be?

The Bible tells us, "Be holy because I am holy" (Leviticus 19:1-2). If we use the copout "Nobody's perfect" to excuse our less than perfect behavior, our less than acceptable attitudes, our failures and mistakes, we don't take seriously God's call for holy living. But He commands it.

Holy living is a growing process for us. Just as we expect a ten year old to behave better than a two year old, so God expects more of a mature Christian than a new one. But even so, the standard that we are held to is holiness, meaning free of impurity and imperfections.

But the good news is that the One who requires a holy life is the same One who has promised to complete the work he began in us (Philippians 1:6). With the power of God's Spirit dwelling in us, we can come a lot closer to perfection than we ever would think.

I want to encourage all of us to get rid of this copout—"Nobody's perfect"—and adapt a different attitude, namely: "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:13). If we stop telling ourselves that we're not perfect, and instead encourage ourselves to be holy, we'll see some remarkable improvements. Let’s go for it!

Have You Been Framed?

2011-03-31T09:38:00.000-07:00

What have you been complaining about lately?

I used to complain about having so much to do that I could never get it all done. My first thoughts when I woke up would be about all I had to do that day, and worrying how I would get it done. My conversations frequently revolved around my busy schedule.

God’s Holy Spirit began to convict me of how wrong I was to complain about anything, but particularly about being busy. So, I began putting it in a different frame. I began to say to myself, “Mary, how blessed you are that you have more to do than you will get done. How extraordinary that God has entrusted you with lots of good things to do. Imagine how bored you would be if you didn’t have much to do!” Do you get the idea? As a result, I truly began to see my daily schedule in a different frame, and it changed my attitude, reduced my stress, made me more joyful—it worked.

I still have to work at it, but when I re-frame, it helps a lot. Whatever you’ve been complaining about lately, try putting it in a different frame. God will help you; you can do it. Then, please let me know how it works out for you.

Truth or Consequences

2011-03-24T09:23:00.000-07:00

I’ve been thinking more about truth. There is another key about truth we should think about: Truth Heals.

If you go to a doctor because you've been having bad headaches, you don't want to be told that you have a simple headache when in reality you have a brain tumor. Your only hope for healing is to know the truth and have an operation to remove the tumor.

I think of a woman who has difficulty in almost every relationship in her life. She continually refuses to face the truth about herself, and she shifts the blame to others. As a result, she never heals. She is in constant inner pain because she runs away from the truth.

Once we face the truth, we're in a position for healing. It's like lancing a boil so that the poison can escape. The cut is painful, but once you do it, then healing begins. As long as we refuse to accept the truth, we can only get worse. The truth about truth is that it heals, it sets you free!

If so, we've got to find the truth. Where do we look? Jesus said He is the Truth. So we should look for truth in Jesus. We can read the gospels, study what He said. Jesus prayed for His disciples: "Sanctify them by the truth; Your word is truth" (John 17:17). Truth is found in the Word of God. Anything that does not line up with God's Word must be discounted. If we don’t know God’s Word, we are susceptible to believe any error that sounds good.

The truth about truth is that even though it hurts, truth heals and it sets us free. I want to set my life to pursue the truth and settle for nothing less. How about you?

The Trouble With Truth

2011-03-18T08:56:00.000-07:00

Jesus said: "You will know the truth and the truth will set you free" (John 8:32). Truth sets you free from error, free from bad choices, free from sin and its consequences. The converse is also true: error binds us. Any untrue belief we have puts us into bondage. If that is true, you’d think everyone would want to know the truth, wouldn’t you? But people have often suppressed the truth, exchanged it for lies, rejected it, denied it. In fact, today many believe that truth is relative and everyone's opinion is right. Well, you are entitled to your own opinion, but you're not entitled to your own truth!

Since truth sets us free, why do so many of us either run from it, ignore it, or reject it? Here's the key truth about truth: Truth Hurts.

I got a phone call once where someone told me some truth about myself that was painful. My reflex was to drown it in busyness. I told myself it wasn't that important. The truth hurt, and my natural reaction was to run away from the pain.

Finally I said, "Mary, this is the truth about you and you better face it and do something about it." If you refuse to take the pain of truth, then it can never set you free.

Can you think of where the truth about yourself is painful and therefore you've been denying it, or ignoring it or shifting the blame? We all need to face the truth even though it hurts. It won't hurt as much as you think it will, and once you face it you can do something about it.

Truth hurts, but if we let it, it will also set us free.

Do You Need Courage Today?

2011-03-11T08:28:00.000-08:00

“You are my divine treasury, in whom all fullness dwells…” This is a line from The Valley of Vision, a prayer book from my shelf. I got snagged up on the thought of God being a treasury. The rest of the line is, “…my life, hope, joy, peace, glory, end.

What is a treasury? It’s a secure place, where valuable items are stored and preserved. To me, that means that if God is a treasury, then He is where my life, hope, joy, peace, glory and end are being kept safe. What an interesting image! But is it biblical truth?

Hebrews 13:5-6 —God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”

Deuteronomy 33:12— Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders.

That sounds pretty convincing, doesn’t it? I love the idea of resting between the shoulders of God. Curled up there, I know my life, hope, joy, peace, glory and end rest secure. What comfort! With that in mind today, I should be able to face anything. I hope it puts courage in your heart too.

Can We Redeem Our Bad Decisions?

2011-03-04T07:35:00.000-08:00

I’ve made many wrong decisions. The worst decisions were the ones I knew were wrong when I made them. But there have been others that were not so intentional, just misguided. My guess is you can see the same trends in your life. But how does God see us?

God remembers our frame and knows that we are dust, so it doesn’t surprise him to see how often we make wrong decisions. What must, however, break his heart is to see how we wallow in those wrong decisions and allow them to keep us living in guilt and despair instead of taking our medicine and going forward.

God can give us the grace to live with whatever bad or wrong decision we have made, even the ones that last for a lifetime, if we will allow him to do that. And you might be amazed at how you can find joy and peace and fulfillment and be used of God even though you’ve made some wrong choices. That’s the kind of God we serve.

Are you willing to let him take your wrong decision and make something good out of it? Are you willing to stop using your bad choices as excuses for not going forward with God and being a blessing to others? If so, you can make a fresh start today.

This topic is the theme of our Weekend Getaway April 8-10. Judging by the pace of registrations, this topic hits home with a lot of us. Here’s where to go if you would like more information about it. I hope to see you there. http://www.christianworkingwoman.org/23rd_annual_weekend_getaway

Is Courtesy Out of Style?

2011-01-14T09:26:00.000-08:00

I’ve noticed that few people in our culture take time to be polite. People sound off if you simply cross them on the street, many send email messages that are unkind and caustic, people show so much rudeness in our work places. How do you cope with impoliteness?

The topic for one of last month's radio messages was Annoying Habits of Coworkers. As I prepared for the week, I was thinking about this problem. The level of civility and everyday courtesy has taken some dramatic moves downward in the last few years. We are surrounded by it, so let’s consider our actions.

As believers we need to make certain we follow simple courtesies ourselves: saying please and thank you, opening doors for others, letting others go first in the parking lot, smiling and greeting people. Perhaps if we role model it more consistently, others will catch on.

Then think of how you could bring this topic up in a meeting where you work or where you go to church or where you volunteer. I’m sure others are aware of it as well, and a return to simple courtesies can help to reduce the stress levels in the group. My guess is you’ll find many in agreement with you.

Please let me know what works for you.

Quiet Time in a Noisy Life?

2011-01-07T09:31:00.000-08:00

“I know that I need to read my Bible and pray each day, but as a single working mom (or business executive with long hours, or teacher with papers to grade, or ??) there is no time. I feel guilty about it, but I just can’t put another thing in my schedule.” Have you ever thought like that about having a quiet time reserved for your relationship with God?

There are a lot of reasons our lives are crowded, but we need time with the Lord in order to have the strength and joy we need. How can we fit quiet time realistically into a noisy life?

I’ve used what I call “no-brainer time” for prayer. For example, when I’m driving, I pray out loud. When I’m dressing in the morning, taking a shower, blow drying my hair—I use that time to talk to the Lord.

There are lots of ways to listen to the Bible while driving or exercising or cooking or cleaning. So, I use these no-brainer times to have time with Jesus. I’ve discovered I can make it work if I really want to.

The busier Jesus was, the more he took time to be with his Father. It is in our most pressurized circumstances that we most need the peace and guidance that comes from time with the Lord.

When I try to save time in my schedule by foregoing my time with God, I find that all kinds of things go wrong, and I am far more stressed and less productive than usual.

Most of us manage to do what we truly want to do. The beginning of a new year gives us a good opportunity to put new practices in place. Seeking first the kingdom of God and his righteousness must be our highest priority, regardless of our busy schedules—no, because we have busy schedules.

Do you have suggestions to offer someone struggling with having a Quiet Time?

What Could Make This a Happy New Year?

2010-12-31T09:04:00.000-08:00

A new year is almost upon us. This is the time when I try to set some spiritual goals for the year ahead. I’m not talking about your typical New Year’s resolutions, but setting a goal for what I want God to do in my life—to change me and make me more like Jesus in the coming year.

I figure that if the children in my family didn’t grow from year to year, as expected, I’d be concerned. But often we can go from one year to another without any real visible spiritual growth in our lives. That means we are shrunken Christians, or maybe sick ones. We should be concerned.

I don’t want to go through 2011 without growing in the Lord, and I’m sure you don’t either. So, I’m going to take the challenge to identify one area where I need spiritual growth and pray it into my life. I hope you’ll take this challenge with me.

First I want to ask God to show me what area of my life needs spiritual growth or discipline. Then I should look into his Word for a verse that challenges me in that area. And then I need to pray this verse everyday into my life.

For example, maybe I need to be a better listener and talk less. I might choose James 1:19 which says that “Everyone should be quick to listen and slow to speak.”

Or maybe I need to have a more loving attitude toward a coworker who irritates me. If so, I’d go to 1 Corinthians 16:14 that says, very simply, “Do everything in love.” I’d then take that as my daily prayer, and each day ask God to help me do everything in love. I’d pray for a right attitude toward those who irritate me. I could ask for the ability to see them the way God sees them.

It may be that as you face this new year, you would like to know that you are living in God’s will each day. Well, why not make that your spiritual goal for the year? I encourage you to pray Romans 12:1-2 into your life each day, like this: “Lord, today I offer you my body as a living sacrifice. May it be holy and pleasing to you. May I not be conformed to this world, but transform me by renewing my mind, so that I will be able to test and approve your will for me today.” I can tell you from my own experience that this prayer is life-changing, if you are sincere and intentional about it. This will cause great spiritual growth in your life, as you daily relinquish control of your life to the Lord Jesus.

As we join together to set a spiritual goal and then begin praying it into our lives, it could make 2011 our best year yet. Then at the end of this year, we can look back and see the spiritual growth in our lives. That would be a blessing to us and to many others, as well as a testimony to Jesus Christ. That could make this a truly Happy New Year…all year!

What If This Is An Un-Merry Christmas?

2010-12-24T09:30:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas! I'm bringing you my prayers that your Christmas celebrations will truly be joyous, filled with good times and good memories.

But I'm certain that some people haven't been looking forward to this season and will be glad when it's over. Life’s circumstances can bring us great sorrow. Maybe we can't be with the ones we want to be with. Perhaps miles separate us; or worse, broken relationships have ruined the celebration this year. For whatever reason, this may be an un-merry Christmas for you.

If ”Merry Christmas” is not appropriate for you this year, I simply want to remind you that the One whose birthday we celebrate today has promised never to leave you, never to forsake you. He did not promise that life would always be merry, but He made an ironclad promise that His presence would be with us, when our hearts are merry or when they're heavy.

So, I encourage you to rejoice in His presence with you today. It is no small thing that you can have the guest of honor on this Christmas day right there with you, giving you peace and comfort, even if there is no merriment.

I’m wishing you a Merry Christmas—yes. But if that seems unlikely, then I pray you'll know that Jesus knows how you feel, He understands, He cares, and He's able to bring you peace, with or without the "merry."

How To Be Merry This Christmas

2010-12-18T09:00:00.000-08:00

As I’ve been hearing the Christmas story again during this Christmas season, I’ve seen in a fresh way the kind of woman Mary was—a woman of praise. The Magnificat shows us that she praised God in spite of the problems that lay ahead for her, and they were significant.

Just take a look at Luke 1:46-55. In this brief praise/prayer Mary praised God for his favor toward her. She had a praising heart. I’ve noticed that Mary used Scripture to recite back to the Lord in praise. That's a wonderful way to praise God, by reciting Scripture. I’d like to suggest that we could use this wonderful Magnificat for our own personal praise time this season. The Psalms are also full of praise passages we could refer to.

So often this season I see the negative. People are struggling with joblessness, financial stress, the bitter cold and snow, illness. But I think it’s important to develop a heart of praise. This Christmas season would be a wonderful time to do just that. Maybe the Magnificat can get us started: “My soul glorifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.”

With that thought, I can see this as a truly merry Christmas.

How to Pray for Others

2010-12-13T08:11:00.000-08:00

It’s always agreeable to receive encouragement from our followers, but the message below was especially meaningful. Traci identified specific ways she was praying for the ministry and for me personally, and I saw her prayers as a vital ministry in itself. I asked her for permission to share her words with you, because I thought we might all benefit from seeing her approach to prayer. Her practice of prayer can apply to our prayers for anyone else, for our co-workers, for our families, or even for our “enemies” (Matthew 5:44).

“Sometimes I just think about how thankful I am that God sent you to me and how much I have learned from you and The Christian Working Woman. I am thinking what an example you have been – an excellent example. I am thinking of how weak I was when I started working and was blown away by the things that I experienced. In the beginning I just didn’t know how to handle things. I was such a wimp! I am remembering all the days I would take off because I didn’t want to deal with people or situations. Wow. God must have said, “This poor child of mine needs help!” Just as I was moving on to another job, because I had quit one, I was introduced to you and your ministry. Just in time, because the new job would really be something else, and I experienced all kinds of unbelievable things. But thanks to you and God, I did not quit and learned how to handle things and people. Not only have you helped me with my job, but you have helped me with my life. A big part of the reason I have grown so close to the Lord is because of your teaching. Thank you.”

“So anyway, I continue to pray for you personally and for the ministry. I am praying that your personal needs are met. God knows what they are. I pray for the ministry of The Christian Working Woman. I pray that all of your financial needs be met: technical costs, salaries, services, supplies, materials, daily costs. I pray for each of your bills, program costs, travel, equipment....and everything else. I am praying for overflow of finances so that you will be able to continue to be such a blessing to others. What you need, God's got it. He's got everything you need.”

“I am praying for your continued health, joy and peace. May the Lord tell you what to do, when to do it and what to say. May He encourage you in a very special way so that you know that He sees you and loves you with all of His giant, enormous, world-wide sized heart. May you feel His loving, comforting arms around you and always know that He is with you.”

And reader, that is what I pray for you.

Calling All Singles...With Money

2010-12-06T09:09:00.000-08:00

One single woman told me she had never done anything to prepare for retirement, figuring someday she would be married. Well, at 34 she realized it was time she start doing something. She asked how she should begin.

Single people often delay financial planning. I think a lot of singles postpone these financial decisions assuming they will be married at some point. Some singles reason that since they are alone, they should be entitled to live large in compensation. That can lead to an empty bank account later in life. It’s very wise to start a retirement program while you’re young. Being single may be a permanent situation, so waiting to start good financial planning may never end. The time is now.

Proverbs 13:11 teaches us that “he who gathers money little by little makes it grow,” and that’s where you should begin. You might try to designate as large an amount as possible to invest in a savings plan. If your company offers any kind of matching retirement plan, that may be the way to go. Investigate different methods, but most importantly start putting away a definite amount each paycheck. Have it deducted if possible. Whether you marry or not, this is a wise thing to do.

Do you have other suggestions to offer? What advice would you like to pass along?

I’m Talkin’ About Change

2010-11-28T10:53:00.000-08:00

They tell us it takes 21 days to break an old habit, and 65 days to establish a new one! Wow, change comes hard and slow for us, doesn't it?

Have you ever said, "I've really tried to change but it just never works!"?

You know, in order to change, we first have to realize we can't do it. Sounds like a contradiction, but Paul wrote to the Corinthians that it's only when we see how weak we are that we can be strong. So often I become discouraged with my inability to change myself. But when I finally give up, I can hear Jesus say, "I've been waiting for you to realize you'll never make it on your own."

Maybe you need to begin the change process by admitting that you can't. But don't stop there; ask the Lord to change you through his strength. And then be willing to put the discipline in place that change requires.

As soon as we start to change anything, we go into a transition period which is anything but comfortable. But if we refuse or postpone change because we don't want to go through that uncomfortable stage, then we stagnate where we are. In order to improve, it is necessary to change.

Paul said, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Through Christ we can change, if we're prepared to live through the transition period and not allow those uncomfortable feelings to keep us from changing. Are you ready to go for it? Then, as Nike says, "Just do it!"

Danger Alert!

2010-11-22T08:39:00.000-08:00

Earlier this month I talked about dangers to be aware of in our lives. Lately a new danger that many are toying with has caught my attention: uncommitted church attendance and lack of involvement. It goes like this:
I’m on a fast track in my company and doing very well. Sometimes I have to work on weekends, sometimes I’m exhausted after a stressful week. So, I haven’t gotten involved at church; I just attend services when I can. I don’t see a problem with that. Do you?

Yes, I do. My concern is that people aren’t coming together to be encouraged or to be taught or to worship God or to offer their gifts for the good of the Body, like the Bible tells us to do. They are shutting themselves off from a God-designed nurturing system. Not doing what the Bible says is simply disobedience and carries consequences.

What are these people going to tell Jesus when they have to give an account for the use of their time and abilities? “Sorry I didn’t get involved in kingdom work, Jesus, because I had to get ahead in my job and make as much money as I could.”

We need some serious re-evaluation of our priorities. Without a change in attitude, people choosing this option are heading into a self-focused life that may deposit money in a bank account, but will never deposit anything in an eternal account in heaven. That would be a great failure! That is a danger that sets off an alarm system in my spirit. What can we do about it?

Any ideas?

Travels With Mary

2010-11-15T12:27:00.000-08:00

I am in Israel leading the CWW trip that began November 8. Noseworthy Travel Services coordinates this tour each year, and the Israeli tour guide and bus driver we are traveling with have been with me many times. I teach along the way to bring the Bible content together with our site exploration, so history comes to life for the women in the group. I love being here and doing this.

With one more day in Jerusalem, as we come to the end of this my 12th tour to The Holy Land, I am once again amazed at how God uses this trip to touch the hearts of the women who come with me. One woman said to me yesterday, "This trip has again confirmed to me that God has his hand on my life." Another said that the Bible has come alive to her as never before.

Maybe you can join me next November! Brochures will be out soon.

50 Never Looked So Good

2010-11-01T07:03:00.000-07:00

There is a mug here at TCWW that states 50 Never Looked So Good. I love drinking out of this mug because it puts a smile on my face. It reminds me that I look great for fifty. I am roughly two decades away from turning fifty but the mug is a little daily dose of encouragement to make myself feel good. We all do different things to make ourselves smile or to help us get through the workday. On my last job I had Ephesians 2:10 on my desk to help me get through the day. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. I loved the constant reminder that God had good works for me to do that day and I needed to find them and do them.

Winter is getting closer and as the weather becomes more frigid it becomes harder to get out of bed and go to work. So it is important that as the weather cools down we find ways to still let our light shine at work and constantly exude a good disposition. What things do you do to help yourself get through the workday?

Cleaning Up the Fallout of Anger

2010-10-25T09:42:00.000-07:00

This week on the radio broadcast I’m talking about anger, and that set me to thinking about the fallout of anger. For example, when anger gets control, spiteful words spurt out, and those words fall out onto someone. And that someone is often a person we love or spend a lot of time with. The angry words we say may even be true, but they don’t land very kindly. That leads to hurt feelings and damaged relationships. What should we do about the words we can’t take back? Does it help to apologize?

Often, I feel like just letting the situation calm down with time, and over time I can forget about it. But what about the other person? Can they forget about my unkindness so easily? But if I broach the subject with them, doesn’t that just open up the wound again? What is the right way to handle it?

The Bible says that we should speak the truth, but it must be done in love. When I’m angry, usually the love part is missing in my remarks. Actually, this can give us an opportunity to explain why it is necessary to apologize. As we ask the person to forgive us, we can explain that we knew we did not speak in a loving way and that is wrong.

I always need to be sure I don’t start explaining why I said what I did, becoming defensive. I need to make it a true apology. The other person’s behavior is not my responsibility; I am responsible to right the wrong that I have done, regardless of the offense I may have reacted to.

Maybe you face situations like this too. What is the biblical approach to take?

Let's Celebrate Success

2010-10-18T09:38:00.000-07:00

This week on the radio broadcast Mary is talking about procrastination. When I heard the message I had to ask myself, “What am I procrastinating about?” The first thing that came to mind was losing the 5 pounds I’ve added recently. Oh no! Not that. I’ve kept saying I will tackle that when the rest of my life gets easier, when life’s current challenges are taken care of. Well, that’s never going to happen. That’s what I said about the other 5 pounds I added last year. (Oh yes, it’s true.)

But habits grab on and don’t want to let go. I REALLY did not want to make the changes I needed to in order to lose weight. But the little motto Mary talked about kept appearing before my eyes. For one thing, it was my job to design and order the magnets with the motto: Do it right and do it now! The verse on them is Colossians 3:23—Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord. Well, this isn’t work, but it is stewardship of my body, and that is one job Christians are given to do. So I responded to my conscience and got serious about weight loss. After one week, “Yipee!” I lost 2 pounds. I can’t believe it! Success. That sets me up to charge on in my pursuit. I actually can break a habit. I’m encouraged, so let me encourage you too.

What are you procrastinating about? Can you face it and determine to do it now? Let me know what your challenge is, what goal you’re setting, and we can support each other. Then we can celebrate success together.

What To Do When You’re the Enemy

2010-10-11T09:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we offend people without knowing it. But what should we do when we discover that someone resents us for something we did or said? For example, you may have had to tell a coworker that you couldn’t help him as he had hoped. Since then he has hardly spoken to you, but you really couldn’t help him then. How should you handle a situation when you’ve become The Enemy?

Sometimes we have to say no, and it may not be understood or appreciated. Assuming it was for good reasons, then we should not feel guilty about someone’s reaction. But that doesn’t mean we should just ignore the damaged relationship. We need to take the initiative to repair it, even if were just doing what was necessary.

Of course, how you may have said no is important, too. Hopefully you had explained your reasons, tried to find an alternative solution for him if possible, and expressed your regrets. If you had just dropped “no” on him like a bomb, that could be the reason for his hostile reaction.

You can ask God to give you wisdom in how to approach the person so that the relationship can be restored. You will need understanding, patience and a kind, gentle spirit. God is the author of those traits, so seek his perspective and help. God can also prepare the individual to be accepting and forgiving, so pray for that too.

Be willing to take the first step to patch up your relationship with someone you’ve offended. That’s what God did when we offended him with our sin.

When Others Don’t Walk the Talk

2010-10-06T10:49:00.000-07:00

There are Christians in our workplaces that make a big deal about being a Christian, but then they don’t always walk the talk. Others notice it and may even make a remark to you if they know you are a Christian too. Has that ever happened to you? How do you handle it?

One thing we need to remember is that we never need to be ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Jesus hasn’t failed; one of his followers has. So, don’t let this cause you to feel ashamed of being a Christian.

Don’t get caught in the trap of talking negatively about your Christian coworker. Take the focus off of his behavior and back to Jesus. You might say, “Christians are not perfect, and I’m sure there are things in my life that are not always pleasing to God. Please let me know when you see anything in me that disappoints you. You see, the great thing about Christianity is God freely forgives us and we can start fresh.”

Do you have other ways of coping with this issue?

Would a Workplace Bible Study Group Work?

2010-10-04T11:01:00.000-07:00

What do you think of the idea of having a Bible study at your workplace during lunch? Are there people who would be interested? How should you go about it?

First, you need to make sure you have permission to use company facilities for your meetings. Remember that you don’t want to create any conflict over an on-site meeting. You may need to take it off-site.
Then choose appropriate material. It should be flexible to fit in your time frame, and you need to be vigilant to make sure you don’t go overtime. There should not be a lot of homework. I would try to make it an oasis in the middle of a busy workweek.
You could lead it or ask someone from the outside to come lead it, depending on your gifts and abilities. It should not focus on church orientation, controversial topics, politics or local hot buttons, but stick strictly to Bible-based teaching.
Pray much, but don’t be afraid to start it. It’s best to also set an end date so people won’t see it as a long-term obligation. You can then propose another 8 weeks (or whatever) and then continue in short terms as interest indicates.

I’ve seen God use a study like this for great good, and He can use you to reach your coworkers in this way. Would you be willing to pray about the possibility? You might be surprised to see who He leads you way and how He opens up the doors.
______________________________________________
Mary’s study material, Time Out Bible Studies, includes an eight-week study called Improving Your People Skills. It incorporates her teaching on a DVD and offers brief, practical lessons. You can order a set at 1-800-292-1218 or online at christianworkingwoman.org/catalog/bible_studies.

Just Once I’d Love to Hear “Thank You”

2010-09-29T09:24:00.000-07:00

Sadly few managers do a good job at positive reinforcement. Yet, encouraging words are far more motivational than constantly harping on mistakes. Someone wrote me these words, “My boss never says thank you, never gives me any recognition for a job well done. Just once I’d love to hear a positive word from him.” Gloomy commentary, but most likely we’ve all had thoughts just like it.

But wait, as believers we have a great advantage here. The Bible tells us in Colossians 3: Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

If we perform our everyday work like we’re working for him, we're going to be recognized and rewarded by the Lord, whether our employer ever appreciates us or not. So, we can be happy to know that we can be assured of a heavenly reward. Does that encourage you? Now maybe you can find a way to encourage someone else.

If Only I Could Get a Drink of Water

2010-09-27T09:27:00.000-07:00

This question has recently come my way: Lately I’ve been spiritually dry and I’m afraid this is going to harm my testimony on the job. How do I get out of a dry spiritual condition?

Every Christian I know has faced this dilemma. The heavens seem shut, and our desire to read the Bible and pray is dormant. We’re thirsty, but a drink of water seems out of reach. How do we get out of this state?

In writing of these dry periods, the prophet Habakkuk says “Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my savior.” In order to apply this, I have found that I simply must set my will to continue to do what I know is right, and trust God to bring me out of this dryness in his time. I need to review what God has promised, what he offers me, and how he has demonstrated his love for me. I must rely on his Word, not on my feelings, and keep going back for reminders.

This is learning to walk by faith not by sight, and it can be a very meaningful time in our lives. You too probably have experience in walking through a time like this. How did you get through it to the other side? Did you find a good water source?

What Happened To Your Job Security?

2010-09-22T09:15:00.000-07:00

You may work for a large company that is now downsizing. What if your job could be eliminated? Does that frighten you?

That fear is understandable, but it might be good to get a different perspective by examining your source of trust. You may have been trusting in a large, seemingly-secure company to be your source of stability.

Now you have an opportunity to learn to trust God in new ways. God has promised that if you seek first his kingdom, everything you need to live—home, clothes, food—will be given to you. You can replace your fear with faith by confronting those fears with God’s Word. It helps to memorize Matthew 6:33, Joshua 1:9, and other relevant verses. Try quoting them each time fear starts to invade your mind.

You can rest in the full assurance that God has good plans for your life and he will never leave you or forsake you. That’s much better than any earthly employer can offer you.

Are there other ways you can deal with the fear of losing your job? I’d value your viewpoint.

Job Dissatisfaction–Does It Have To Be This Way?

2010-09-20T10:54:00.000-07:00

I’ve heard people express a high degree of job dissatisfaction lately. You may be in a job that bores you to tears. Or there may be a lot of negativism there. You may have a terrible boss. You may be one of those who are ready to move on but cannot risk quitting right now. Since finding a new job is slippery in this economy, how can you inject satisfaction into the job you have right now?

Have you asked anyone for more responsibility? Have you volunteered to do other things? If all you have done is complain about it, then you are part of the problem. Have you noted the positives so you can focus and build on them? Your management may be waiting to see how much initiative you have. Can you perform a procedure more efficiently or make a task more productive or be creative in cheering up your corner of the workplace?

Perhaps you didn’t investigate the job adequately before you accepted it—a mistake to avoid in the future. Meanwhile, I would stay put for now and try to make yourself valuable to the organization. How can you exhibit a joyful attitude? In what ways can you learn the valuable lesson of being content in any situation? What have you learned that may help someone else?

Help For Heartache That Won’t Go Away

2010-09-15T09:34:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we have such a heartache in our family or within ourselves that we can think of nothing else. It affects our work, and people at work notice it. But what can we do?

What Jesus wants us to do is leave our burden with him. When I have a troubling situation, each morning before I leave home I spend time taking my burden off my back and giving it away…to Jesus. He said I am to exchange my heavy burden for his light one. Trying to carry around this heavy burden with me all day saps all my energy. That’s what happens when I’m carrying the wrong burden.

I have to do this by faith, and I have to do it many times a day until I can truly learn to let go of the burden. I need to be prepared all through the day, so when thoughts of that burden invade my mind, I can turn it back over to the Lord. Jesus is qualified to carry my burden; I am not. He says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28. That rest is what we all want.

Where does your rest, your comfort, your strength in trouble, come from?

Three Things Men Look for in the Workplace

2010-09-13T08:49:00.000-07:00

In my previous guest blog, I introduced the foundation for the basic findings from my latest book, The Male Factor: The Unwritten Rules, Misperceptions, and Secret Beliefs of Men in the Workplace. If you missed that article, it would be helpful to reference that first so that these more concrete takeaways have a meaningful context. Three examples in particular jumped out from surveys in my research of how men generally viewed things in the office.

The Unwritten Rules of the Workplace. The male brain works most efficiently at work when he compartmentalizes out feelings and approaches that (in his mind) belong solely in one’s personal world. This gives rise to a set of unwritten rules and expectations of how things should operate—such as “you shouldn’t really have the same personal feelings at work as you do at home”—and thus establishes what and who is considered ‘business-savvy’ or ‘high-potential’ if they flow with those rules. Yet the integrated female brain is usually not designed to automatically fit into those rules; personal feelings, for example, cannot be compartmentalized away. Yet in the interest of advancing causes she cares about (not to mention her career), a clued-up woman can, if she chooses, decide to not show those personal feelings in a scenario that she now knows a man would find uncomfortable. As with all these issues, there is no one “right” answer: the key is awareness and the ability to make informed decisions on how to approach male expectations in the workplace. Depending on your work environment, here are a few suggestions to consider:
o Consciously monitor just how much of your personal life you discuss at work—even on
break, at the watercooler, and even lunch.
o Consider referring to personal leave time for say kids events, etc. as generically an appointment, especially when you scheduling a meeting with your male coworkers.
o Limit or completely avoid personal conversation topics at meetings

How Emotion Can Be Seen as “Not Thinking.” Unlike the male brain (designed to process one thing at a time, very deeply), the multitasking female brain allows women to process a fairly high degree of emotion and still be thinking clearly at the same time. Yet since men don’t usually know this (since their brain doesn’t work that way), men view the presence of emotion as meaning that logic has ceased (“Shoot…we are going to have to re-do this meeting later”). It is powerful once women recognize the need to manage their emotional perceptions, and men see that women’s relatively greater emotional wiring can be a strength rather than the weakness they may have thought. (For example, that same emotional wiring allows a woman to read body language cues at a much earlier point, have good skills in empathy and listening, and so on.) Consider some of the behaviors he may interpret as ‘emotional’:
o Holding too strongly to an opinion—we see it as passionate but he may see it as being emotionally attached.
o Revealing irritation by tone of voice, rolling the eyes, or exasperated sigh.
o Crying or overt display of any emotion from sympathy to anger to humor.

The Power of Respect. One of my greatest surprises in my research for For Women Only was finding that in their personal relationships men needed respect so much that when faced with a choice, three out of four men would give up love to get it. Vastly different from how women might view the “male ego,” women are surprised to learn that the same men who look so confident are secretly questioning themselves. So it is relatively easy for those men to see certain approaches from female colleagues (such as asking “why” questions in a staff meeting) as signals that that person is challenging their judgment. By contrast, men have an immense amount of gratitude and loyalty for anyone—man or woman—who shows foundational respect in their daily interactions. Beware of the possible unintentional signals of disrespect you may be signaling to men in the workplace:
o Public criticism
o A direct, brusque comment
o Questioning a decision especially with ‘why’ questions
o Micromanagement

While these three examples merely scratch the surface of how to enlighten or aid women in their current work situation, they effectively encapsulate just a few of the results from thousands of interviews I conducted with men in the corporate world. The actual survey questions and results on the website is eye-opening for any woman open to understanding the ways that men in the workplace may be perceiving her words and actions.

http://www.shaunti.com/BooksStudies/TheMaleFactor/Survey/tabid/379/Default.aspx

Are You Coming?

2010-09-08T09:00:00.000-07:00

In this impersonal digital world it seems like we have to struggle to maintain personal interaction. For sure, we have more means of communication than ever before, but sometimes we are overwhelmed with the amount of information coming our way. How can we avoid getting lost in the shuffle? How do we prevent misunderstandings and miscommunications?

Let me encourage you to attend Keeping Your Heart and Soul at Work. This one-day seminar will answer those questions and these:
• How can we develop a winning and empathetic way of communicating in this new environment?
• What do you need to understand about generational and cultural differences in communicating?
• How can you create community through these new media? How are relationships affected by technology?
• What are the most common email pitfalls to avoid?
• What are effective ways to communicate the love of Christ to our co-workers in this environment?

I hope you will join me for the day. It will be time well-spent, so just click here for more information. This seminar will provide a more intimate sized group than our bigger conferences, so I really look forward to spending time with you on Saturday, October 9, 2010. It's time to register now!

What You Can Do About Jealousy

2010-09-06T08:45:00.000-07:00

This week I’m discussing jealousy in our broadcasts. One listener asked this question: “I’ve been given an honor by my company, and now my coworkers think I’m acting differently. I’ve asked God to forgive me if I’ve been prideful, but I sincerely don’t think I have been. How do I handle this?” Jealousy is interfering in this person’s work relationships.

It’s amazing how quickly former friends can turn on us when that green-eyed monster called jealousy rears its ugly head. Wise Solomon wrote in Proverbs 27:4: “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?” In other words, it is more difficult to deal with jealousy than anger or fury. Would you agree?

When dealing with jealousy in the workplace, my advice is to pray for your coworkers and make sure you keep a heart of compassion for them. Do not be bitter toward them, but neither should you feel guilty about a deserved honor. Treat those around you with kindness. Let God’s love for them flow through you, and leave the results to God. You can’t change them; only God can do that.

Thoughts In a Sling

2010-09-03T09:17:00.000-07:00

I had rotator cuff surgery a week ago. Now, I suppose that there should be some spiritual lesson to learn from having your right arm in a sling for three or four weeks, but quite honestly, for me it's just another reminder that the world revolves very well without my total involvement. There are times you simply have to let things go. For a driver personality, with very little patience to begin with, I am learning that I can't make my shoulder heal instantly, and therefore, I must be patient even with myself and my body! But I'm very grateful for the medical advances that are available to us today, because even a few short years ago this would have been a much longer recovery. I look forward to the day when I'm out of the sling, out of the pain, and able to function at 100%. Until then - God is still sovereign!

Boundaries and Sexuality in the Workplace

2010-09-01T11:16:00.000-07:00

Often when I ask others to identify problems in the workplace, the subject of sexuality comes up. A woman may constantly be saying inappropriate things to a male coworker. Or a man may be clearly coming on to a woman. If you are in a situation like that, what should you do?

If someone is constantly saying inappropriate things, and you have not asked them to quit, could it be that you enjoy their attention? What other choices would you have?

This is a place for you to set a personal boundary in order to keep your thinking clear. A situation like this needs immediate confrontation. It would be best to go to that person in an open place and apologize if you have done anything to encourage them; then explain that you want it to stop.

Jesus said if your arm offends you, cut it off; if your eye offends you, pluck it out. He means for us to give no opportunity to the lust of our flesh, and if you don’t take immediate action, you will be inviting trouble. This sort of set-up is a disaster looking for a place to happen. You want to make sure you are not contributing to it.

Setting Boundaries at Work

2010-08-30T12:14:00.000-07:00

Do you struggle with setting boundaries? Do you know how to set healthy boundaries in your life? The book Boundaries written by John Townsend and Henry Cloud convicted me that there were some boundaries in my life that I needed to work on.
While reading the book, I was working for a company that was making me miserable, stressed and due to the stress, unhealthy. I used to love my job until new management took over and only viewed us as money making machines. I was desperate to leave but felt stuck due to the pay and benefits. I had to learn how to not allow the job to affect who I was as a person. I started by saying “No” to the projects they wanted me to take on. I was one of their top performers so they continually gave me extra projects they wanted done. By saying “No” I was able to free up some of my time to focus on the work I enjoyed doing. I taught myself to not check my emails after work hours or on weekends. And guess what…the world didn’t end. I was able to start reclaiming the joy I once had at work.
It is very hard to draw boundaries when it comes to work—especially when you fear losing your job in this tough job market. If you are struggling with setting boundaries at work or in other areas of your life, then I would highly recommend checking out the book Boundaries.

How to Make Worry Work for You

2010-08-27T06:40:00.000-07:00

Worried that you may have to re-locate for your job? Afraid to go to the doctor about the pain in your chest? Losing sleep over your review next week? How many more things cause you to worry?

You know, of course, worry can be harmful:

It builds stress up in your mind and body that can lead to illness
It causes you to lose sleep
It leads to over-eating, over-caffeinating, over-medicating
It distracts your focus from other important matters
It yields a long list of negative returns

But if it has bad returns, why do I say it can work for you? What if it can work to bring something positive to our lives? Then we should try to use it that way.

Look at Joshua 1:9: Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. When I realize that I’m bogged in worry, I try to stop the struggle for a minute and look at my problem in light of this verse. That means first meditating on who the “LORD your God” really is.

In the context He was the God who won miraculous battles, led the people in specific ways, energized Joshua with unique ideas for conquest, brought justice, gave unusual wisdom for crisis, provided solutions for physical and emotional needs, and restored courage in the weak-kneed.

That’s the God who says He will go with me wherever I go. He will not leave me alone to deal with my trouble. That pretty much covers all the issues I worry about. On the strength of His character, my part is to choose to take off fear and discouragement and put on strength and courage. Doing that has taken me to places I could never have gone to alone.

Worry works for me when it sends me to Him. Worry works when it makes me consider His Word. Worry works when it opens me to Truth. How has worry worked for you?

Easy Time Management Tips

2010-08-23T13:34:00.000-07:00

People are most successful when they have a routine. Usually having a calendar within hands’ reach is a good way to have control over your time management.
Here are a few quick tips on time management. Please add to them if you have found successful ways to manage your time effectively.

• Set a schedule for yourself by using a daily calendar. This way you can keep track of everything.

• Consider using a Family Calendar to make it easy for the family to see what they have to do for the week and where everyone will be.

• Make double the amount of food for dinner and freeze half to use for another day when you don’t have the time to cook.

• Make Lists. Make a grocery list, a “to do” list for around the house, movie list and etc.. So when it comes time to run errands you can map out your plan of action to get all of your “to do’s” done quicker.

• Call ahead before running to a store if you are unsure if they carry the product you want. This also can apply to restaurants. Call ahead seating is offered at many places and can save you time in the waiting line.

• Ask for help. Learn to delegate to friends and family. It is important to ask your family to help pitch in when getting household chores done.

• Make life as easy as possible by keeping things simple. It is okay to say no to good things to allow your schedule some balance.

• Set realistic goals for each day and prioritize what is most important. Get what is most important done first.

• Start each day on the right foot by spending time with the Lord. If the morning is not your best time to sit down for devotions, then make sure you schedule it in your calendar for later in the day.

What Could You Do To Manage Your Time Better?

2010-08-23T10:38:00.000-07:00

This week I’m talking about time management on The Christian Working Woman radio program. This scenario fits the topic, so just imagine the scene:

Julie: Oh, my goodness, it's three o'clock already and I haven't finished that layout design. I promised the client he could see a sketch tomorrow. Wow, where does the time go? (Phone rings) Oh, hi, Jim. Sure I'll be glad to look at your new idea–just e-mail it to me. (Hangs up)

Sadie: (Walking in) Julie, didn't you have an article on that new software upgrade? I'd sure like to see that if you have it.
Julie: Yeah, it's here somewhere. (Scans her document files) I don't know where I put it, but I'll find it and send it to you, Sadie, okay?
Sadie: Sure, but I need it today if possible.

Julie: No problem! (Sadie leaves) How am I ever going to get this sketch done with all these interruptions?

Are you having difficulty managing your time? Interruptions are one chief culprit that can keep us from getting our work done on time, so we need to learn to manage them well. To be good stewards, we all need to learn some good time management techniques. I try to remember what Paul wrote to the Ephesians: Therefore be careful how you walk... making the most of your time, because the days are evil (Ephesians 5:15-16).

I think this reminder should help us get serious about making the most of our time. Do you have other pointers to help?

The Freedom of a Budget

2010-08-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

Mary’s message this weekend is on money management and when most people hear the word budget they groan. I used to be that way, and it took a while to realize how freeing a budget can be.
I grew up with a father who had an accounting degree; although he never used the degree professionally, he always talked about the importance of managing money well. When I was around ten years old he started handing me sheets of paper that would have graphs showing how much you can save with just a little money set aside each week. All those handouts usually ended up lost, because in my foolishness as a young kid, I wasn’t worried about that kind of stuff. I wish I would have heeded his advice now because it would be helpful to have that nest egg now.
When I got out of college I sat down with my dad and made a budget. I moaned at first and thought this budget was going to keep me from enjoying life. But it didn’t. It did quite the opposite. I was able to save money for vacations and for going out to eat. If I didn’t spend the money, I could watch it grow in each column so I had more money to spend in that area later for a bigger shopping spree. Better yet, I paid off my first car in under 2 years. So if you haven’t tried budgeting, I want to recommend it.
There are two websites which have helped many Christians that I know with their finances. The first is www.crown.org. It is a Christian ministry whose purpose is to teach biblical financial principles. The second site is www.mint.com and they make budgeting easy. They even have an iphone application where you can get instant updates on where you are at with your budget.
It is important to remember that all of our money is God’s money. It can make or break us on how we handle this gift from God. So if the thought of budgeting makes you want to groan because you know you don’t have enough money to cover all the bills, take a step back, get down on your knees and you will be amazed at what God can do. I would love to hear the amazing stories on how God has provided for you and any creative ways you budget or save money.

Why do I keep going to Africa each year?

2010-08-18T08:44:00.000-07:00

I have been going to Africa for at least the last 15 years, maybe more—mainly to Kenya, Uganda and Rwanda—where I have had the privilege of teaching women. My pastor always seems amazed that I'm willing to keep going, as though it's some great sacrifice on my part. But nothing could be further from the truth. I receive a greater blessing than I give, for sure.

I love teaching the African women because they are so hungry for practical biblical teaching, helping them learn how to truly live out the gospel in their everyday lives, explaining biblical truth. There's no greater privilege or satisfaction for me than that. But I also love to go because it has given me a worldview that has changed me.

This year we visited two homes of women who live such simple lives, having almost nothing of this world's goods. Yet their lives have been changed by their participation in the Tabitha Bible studies in that area of Kenya, and they are so thankful to have a Bible study to attend each week.

I received an email when we returned from the leader of Tabitha and she said that one of the leaders told her, "We were thirsty and just got a few drops of water. We want much more." They are hoping I will return next July, and by God's grace, I will. That's why I keep going to Africa.

Miracles

2010-08-16T11:17:00.000-07:00

Part of my job is to edit Mary’s transcripts before they get sent out. One Thursday afternoon I was editing her transcript on Miracles, and little did I know that God was going to provide a miracle for me, so I want to share it with you.

My husband’s birthday is just around the corner, and I always come up with big grandiose plans that I want to do that are usually outside of our budget. So time has been ticking away and my mind has been running through ideas of what we can do to celebrate where he will still feel special without ruining our budget. I have been praying and asking God to give me wisdom on what to do. So when I was just about to give up, my father called to tell me that he knew someone who couldn’t make the Chicago Cubs Baseball game and that they wanted to know if we wanted the tickets. My husband is a huge Cubs fan and a couple months ago I looked at the tickets and they didn’t have any seats available. So I called this person up immediately and told them we would take them and asked what we owed them. They said, “You can have them for free!”

Then about an hour later my sister called to tell me that our Great Aunt gave her some money to give to me because she felt bad she had never given me a graduation gift. It’s been many years since my graduation, so this was an unexpected gift. I didn’t want to take the money, but you can’t fight with a stubborn old woman. So this was another blessing added to the day because I could then take my husband to the steak house I wanted to take him to for his birthday.

Later that evening I sat in my yard going over the events of the day with my husband, realizing as I shared that this was God’s miracle for me. He had provided me with the grandiose plans that I originally wanted to do that I didn’t think were possible. While it may not be a huge miracle in our eyes, it is amazing to see all the little miracles God does for us that we often overlook. He is there to provide for our needs and wants. Are there miracles in your life that you have over-looked and have forgotten to thank God for?

What Men Want?

2010-06-02T06:50:00.000-07:00

By our guest, Shaunti Feldhahn, best selling author of For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men.

In the movie, What Women Want, Nick, played by Mel Gibson has the power to hear everything women are thinking, including his female competitor who got the promotion he wanted. At first the shocking surprise of what women really think is so painful that he views it as a curse. But he soon realizes just how valuable this gift can be -- and uses it to his competitive advantage.

I felt a lot like a female version of Nick as I was researching my new book, The Male Factor: The Unwritten Rules, Misperceptions and Secret Beliefs of Men in the Workplace. My eight years of research were all about digging into the surprising, private perceptions that are common to men and often impact women – but which we would never hear otherwise. In interviews and surveys, I guaranteed more than 3,000 men anonymity to tell all, so women all across America could be equipped with knowledge that is mission-critical to effectiveness and influence with any male boss, colleague, subordinate or client.

During those years of research I realized that in many ways, the private thoughts and expectations of men functions like the unwritten rules of a foreign culture. When I was working on Wall Street, my job involved analyzing Japanese banks and the financial system, to make recommendations to decision makers. When you go into a foreign culture in that way, you expect to do homework so you know how what you do or say may be perceived in their culture. In many ways, understanding men is like that; there is an internal male culture that is every bit as real as walking into a foreign country. And it is every bit as important to understand how something is going to be perceived. If we grow fluent in this internal male culture, we as women can be much more effective, avoid shooting ourselves in the foot, and even remove some obstacles that we may not have even known were there.

What do men privately say when they are promised anonymity and can be completely honest and candid? Through personal private interviews, focus groups, and a nationally representative survey, The Male Factor identifies a number of hypotheses about how men think that were the greatest surprises to women. These topics became the starting point of each chapter, including:

My big picture observations of how men view women in the workplace
What is meant by “It’s not personal, it’s business”
The “unwritten rules” of the working world
How men view emotions – and what they see as ‘getting emotional’ in the first place
The secret inner beliefs, concerns and fears every man shares
The little things that drive men crazy
How men feel about getting it done no matter what
The visual trap that can undermine your career
Top themes that emerged when men were asked for their advice for women in the workplace

For more information on the book or the research, visit my web site at: http://www.shaunti.com/BooksStudies/TheMaleFactor/tabid/340/Default.aspx

What To Do When Your Career Path Takes a Detour

2010-06-01T09:56:00.000-07:00

What does your career path look like? Maybe you’ve met a roadblock and so now you are on a detour that doesn’t seem to end. Or you may have run into construction in the right lane, so you merged left and had to slow down to 45 mph. At this rate, how will you ever get to where you are going?

“How will you get there?” may not be the right question. Maybe the question should be, “Why am I on this alternate route?”

God is not blind to your situation. In fact, He may actually have a purpose in your being on this path instead of the one you had chosen. His GPS may be set on a different target than yours. What should you do then?

Look at how He has worked in the past. In Genesis 37, 39-47, 50, Joseph faced some major re-routing. Yet he was successful in God’s eyes and in the historical records of our faith.

Take some time to read and study the passages and then consider these questions:

How did Joseph respond to the upset in his life?
What might he have learned through his set-backs?
How did God show Himself to Joseph?
What did Joseph learn about God? See Genesis 50: 19,20
How can you apply these lessons to your situation?

After praying for understanding, it’s helpful to look at these passages to find God’s perspective on your career path. Then you might want to study the careers of other Bible characters, i.e. Daniel, Joshua. If you discern truth that would be helpful for others, please share it with me.

Becoming more disciplined

2010-05-18T10:12:00.000-07:00

The most difficult discipline for me is exercise and diet! Anybody else there? I have to work at it all the time. I exercise first thing every morning--or else I wouldn't do it. Here's my motto: Whatever you have to do today that you don't want to do, do it first. But every morning I have to talk myself into my exercise program. Afterwards I'm so glad I did, so I've learned to think about how it feels when I've completed my 45 minutes, and how proud I am of myself for doing it, and that helps.

Being a good steward of our bodies is not easy, but it is a discipline that pays off. Maybe you have some better ideas on how to make yourself exercise every day!

Commitment

2010-05-02T17:51:00.000-07:00

This past week a young 20 something's woman, working toward a Masters Degree, told me that her generation is very reluctant to make a commitment to anything or anyone. To quote her, they don't want to feel "chained" or "tied down" to an event or a person; they want to keep all options open and have lots of freedom and flexibility.

I just wonder if others in that generation share that feeling, or perhaps it's not a generational thing, but a cultural thing - meaning that our culture has produced that kind of attitude in people of all ages.

Love to have comments from any of you!

Dealing with Discouragement

2010-04-27T12:58:00.000-07:00

I've written a Bible study entitled "Defeating Discouragement," so I should have it down pat, right? Wrong! I battle discouragement like everyone else, and because I'm in a visible leadership position, I feel as though I shouldn't admit it or let it show. But that isn't a healthy way to deal with discouragement.

I have to remind myself that discouragement comes and goes--it's part of life. And then I have to do what I know I should do, whether I feel like it or not! There's something to the idea of just "bucking up" sometimes and putting discipline in place and keeping on keeping on!

God doesn't waste anything in our lives, not even discouragement. And I was thinking that it's good to feel discouraged at times in order to relate to others, in order to practice what I preach, and in order to admit that I'm desperate without God! How do people cope with discouragement when they don't know Jesus? I wonder.

I've begun writing a new book which I'm calling "Get Over It." So, I'll just use that medicine on myself today and say, once again, "Mary, get over it!"

Do I do enough?

2010-04-19T09:33:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like you just don't do enough? We had our missions conference at church yesterday, and as I listened to testimonies from several of our missionaries, I felt as though they were doing so much for the Gospel, sacrificially giving their lives, and my commitment and contribution seemed small compared to theirs. I wanted to just volunteer right then to go overseas and do more for Jesus!

But then, in talking with a friend whose father-in-law was buried last Saturday, she told me of the many people who testified to the impact his life had on them. Yet he lived a very simple life, was a carpenter, never visited a third world country, didn't preach any sermons or write any books. But he left a life-long witness to the power of one life lived for Jesus. Everyone who hired his carpentry skills soon came to see the difference in his life and the way he ran his business because he was a Christian, and he was greatly admired and loved by many.

I was again reminded that God is not so much interested in where we are, but rather in who we are. And even if I moved overseas and sacrificed my "easy life" here, it would not automatically make my life more meaningful or effective for God's Kingdom. I'm certain I don't do as much as I could do for Jesus, but living in a different place won't make the difference.

So, once again, I resolved to keep growing up in Christ to be the woman he wants me to be, and working here where he has put me, with the great joy of knowing that he takes the smallest things we do for him and makes them eternally significant. What a wonderful Savior we serve!

What is the name of the women's ministry in your church?

2010-04-13T12:24:00.000-07:00

I am Director of Women's Ministries at my church, and we have decided it's time to change our image! We need a new name that will identify all of the events and programs we have under women's ministries. So, if you've heard some names that really strike a chord with you, I would greatly appreciate you passing them on!

Thanks.

How do you mend a relationship?

2010-04-12T09:05:00.000-07:00

I'm just wondering- have you ever had a relationship go cold on you, and you had no idea why? What is our responsibility as believers when we sense something is wrong, and we search our memories to determine if we've caused a hurt or offense, and finding nothing, what are we to do?

I've been puzzled about this lately, and finally left a voice mail that said, "If I've done anything to offend you, please forgive me," which did generate a callback, but it didn't seem to make any difference. Though this person declared there was no problem, there's just no doubt that the relationship has changed and not for the better.

If you have encountered this kind of challenge, how did you handle it? The Bible says if we have something against someone, we are to go to them directly. But this shoe is on the other foot--so I'm not sure if I should try further or just pray and wait and see. Appreciate your thoughts!

Our Weekend Getaway

2010-03-30T07:56:00.000-07:00

If you've never been to one of our 22 annual weekend getaways, I want to give you a little taste of what it's like. This year we had a great team of speakers and musicians, from left to right, Alicia Williamson-Garcia, Susy Francis-Thornton, me, Donna and Charles Butler and Vera Jackson. Our retreats are the most diverse you'll find anywhere, and we rejoice in the richness of this fellowship. In addition to great Bible-based messages and God-honoring music, we have a gospel choir on Saturday evenings, which the women can join and practice on Saturday afternoon. It is always a BIG hit.

This year we focused on living for THE DAY, not today, truly learning to live with an eternal perspective. It is the greatest stress-buster you'll ever find, and it will make a difference when you stand before Jesus at the Judgment Seat of Christ. We love to sing together and worship the Lord. It was a great weekend. I hope you'll join us next year, April 8 - 10, here in the Chicago area. CDs of all the messages and workshops are available at christianworkingwoman.org or call us at 800-292-1218.

Sexual purity

2010-02-08T07:26:00.000-08:00

On this week's programs--which you can listen to at christianworkingwoman.org-- I address the topic of sexual purity in our society today. I wonder if others see the breakdown in standards that Christians hold about sexual purity. And the consequences of abandoning God's principles are just staggering. Sexual sin has a bondage that is greater than most other sins, because it violates God's design for sexual relationships. I would be interested in your thoughts on this topic. Am I exaggerating when I say that Christians have let down the bar for sexual purity which the Bible teaches?

What would you do?

2010-01-12T03:54:00.000-08:00

Recently I talked with a single mom who is working for a truly impossible boss. He verbally assaults her and her co-worker regularly, with unrealistic demands, threats and generally treats her very disrespectfully. But given our current job scene, she can't just walk out--she needs the job, and in fact, she likes the job. But her health is suffering from having to take this man's abuse.

As a Christian, what advise would you give her? After I hear from some of you, I'll share what I told her. No doubt some of you have had similar experiences. I'd like to explore what a Christian's response should be in such a situation.

Blogging? Who me?

2010-01-11T15:43:00.000-08:00

I've heard so much about blogging, but never really thought it was for me! After all, my plate is full! But I've become convinced that blogging is for me because it is an effective way to stay in touch with others, especially the younger generations, So, I'm ready to jump in the deep end and learn how to swim!

With the help of some experts and technically-oriented people, I want to use this blogging technology to hear from others, to run new ideas by others, and to have an open line of communication with many people. I will be sharing some thoughts from topics I've discussed on my radio program, and inviting others to give me their feedback.

I'm looking forward to learning how to do this, and using this additional tool as an extension of The Christian Working Woman ministry.