Thursday, November 7, 2013

Carefully Waiting for an Answer

Anyone who knows me knows that patience is not my long suit!  I don’t like to wait—for anything or anyone or any reason!  That tendency has often caused me to make hasty decisions and moves that were not the best.  The word that God gave me at the beginning of this year—the one word to focus on all year—was “careful.”  So, I’m continuing to learn to be careful, make slower decisions, be willing to wait until I know for sure that I’m following God’s leading.

Now, I’m learning that lesson anew as I have to wait for some medical reports that will tell me whether I have a significant medical issue or a short-term inconvenience.  As I was going through an MRI yesterday—where you have to lie perfectly still in this medical “tunnel” for 45 minutes—I prayed again that God would give me patience and courage as I face this unknown.

None of us make it through this sin-infected world without these kind of experiences of facing an unknown future.  I’m finding that my knowledge of the sovereignty of God is my anchor, my hope, my security.  Nothing that happens to me takes God by surprise, and I am hanging my hopes on that truth in a new way.

I have to tell you that the emotions are not cooperating.  I don’t like this and I’m not feeling victorious.  But my hope is not in my feelings, it is in my God, so I have to repeatedly refuse to allow the feelings of fear to take control of my thoughts. 

How thankful I am that for years I’ve grown in my knowledge of God’s love for me and his sovereignty in my life.  It is that knowledge of His truth that sets me free, in spite of my feelings.  We serve a great God, and as I’ve been reminding others lately, my identity is that “I am the one Jesus loves,” and he will never forsake me.

2 comments:

  1. Mary, I resonate with you in the "patience" struggle. Thank you for sharing your heart and what God teaching you in this area of your life. It is a great encouragement to me. Praying for you as you wait on Him, while trusting in Him, through your health challenges.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you so much, Mary, for opening up to us about this struggle. It helps to know that others struggle also and to remind us that all solutions are found in God. Reminding us that our struggle is over and over not just done and done. I am finally learning that just because I have to struggle anew with an old issue does not mean I am a failure. It is just another exercise of the faith muscle. Like any other muscle, if not exercised, it becomes flabby and useless. Yikes! Now I am talking to myself in addition to you!

    ReplyDelete