is WORRY choking your faith?

Our invited guest Florence MacKenzie wrote this article for managing your emotions, published in Just Between Us, Winter 2011.

Are you a worrier? I am. After all, there often seems good reason to worry. Am I not being irresponsible if I don’t worry in some situations? Could it be that, by worrying, I’m actually making it less likely that the thing I’m worried about will happen? Is worry, therefore, serving a useful function? The answer, of course, is NO!

The word worry comes from the Old English, meaning to choke or strangle. It also carries the idea of being pulled in different directions. Worry pulls you apart. It’s very divisive. Have you ever noticed that worry divides your mind? You find you cannot focus on the task in front of you because worrying about something else distracts you and divides your attention. Worry also divides your will. It’s hard to make even the smallest decisions when you’re worried. One minute you’re making one decision, the next you’re pulled in the opposite direction and are considering making a different decision. Worry also divides your emotions. Sometimes it appears you’re in control of your feelings; at other times worry pulls your emotions in all sorts of directions so you end up not really knowing how you feel.

I was reading in Matthew’s gospel recently where Jesus gave some straight talk on worry to His disciples. He told them not to worry about everyday life; or about having enough food, drink and clothes; or about tomorrow. He concluded his teaching on worry by commenting on what little faith His disciples had. This made me wonder about the connection between worry and faith. Did they have a problem with worry because they had a problem with faith? If so, might the same be true of me? Perhaps if my faith were stronger and healthier, worry wouldn’t have such a stranglehold over me. This realization came to me when I was walking around our yard. Let me tell you about it.

We live in a house with a large outdoor area which is mostly made up of grass. Neither my husband nor I are keen gardeners and, as a result, the quality of our grass is less than perfect. As I looked at the grass on my recent walk-about, I could see all sorts of things growing there that we hadn’t planted, like moss, clover, dandelion, and lots of others I couldn’t name! Somewhere among these weeds was the grass we had planted but it was being crowded out by these invaders. That’s when it hit me – the unwelcome weeds taking over our grass were like worries that choke the life of faith in us.

But what could we do about it? Given the huge size of the yard, there was no way we could pull these weeds out individually. We knew from past experience that new weeds would soon take root to replace the ones we had removed. I had recently read that the key to controlling weeds is to keep the grass as healthy as possible. So, instead of the weeds crowding out the grass, perhaps the grass would begin to crowd out the weeds if we spent more time tending it by feeding and watering it regularly. From that point on, growing a healthy lawn became our main gardening goal! Do you see how this relates to the need to focus more on building up the “grass” of our faith rather than concentrating primarily on getting rid of the “weeds” of worry in our lives?

But how might you do this? Why not try these “faith-builders”:

·         FOCUS on the truth that it is impossible to please God without faith (Hebrews11:6).

·         FIX your eyes on Jesus on whom your faith depends from start to finish (Hebrews12:2).

·         FEED your faith by reminding yourself of the many promises found in the Bible.

·         FILL unoccupied moments with praise to God, for example, while stopped at a red light or standing in line at the grocery store.

·         FREE up a few minutes each day to appreciate how blessed you are─and then thank God for this!

·         FOLLOW through on replenishing relationships by getting in touch with people who will refresh you spiritually and emotionally.

·         FINISH the day by thanking God for the faith He has given you and ask Him to show you how you can keep translating it into action.

Let’s make it really hard for worry to choke our faith!

Florence MacKenzie has a degree in psychology and a diploma in expository preaching. She is the author of several books, including Destructive Emotions: Facing up to Guilt, Fear and Anger. She also ministers with her husband James through Equipped for Living (http://www.equippedforliving.org).

Coming In By the Back Door

Many people feel their lives are ruined because of some failure in their past. Ruined might be too strong a word, but relentless shame or a feeling of disgrace may plague them.

I remember when I failed terribly in front of some of my peers in a business meeting. My behavior was unkind and out of control—truly sad. Even worse, one of those peers was a man who I had been trying to help in his walk with God.  

As I thought about what I did, I wanted to run away. But the Spirit of God led me not only to go back, but to share my feelings of failure with my friend. The next day I told him how sorry I was that I had failed to be Christ-like in my actions. I also shared that I had been forgiven by God and that the failure was not fatal in God's sight. Then I learned that one of my friend’s greatest struggles was dealing with his own failures, and from that experience he began to understand that his own failures were not fatal either. 

God specializes in taking our failures and turning them into avenues of blessing and growth if we will allow him to. The Apostle Peter is a good example of how God can turn our failures into stepping stones.  

Just before Peter failed Jesus by denying him, Jesus said to him, "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail." Yet, knowing the great failure Peter was to face in just a few short hours, Jesus did not treat him with contempt.   

People hold our failures against us; Jesus doesn't. People refuse to give you second-chances; Jesus doesn't. People look at failure as the end of the road; Jesus sees it as a place of new beginning. 

Jesus told Peter he had already prayed for him, that "when you have turned back," he would strengthen his brothers. Jesus believed that even though Peter was going to fail miserably, he could have a comeback. As a result of failing and coming back, Peter would be able to strengthen his brothers. Though it wasn't right for Peter to fail Jesus as he did, nonetheless that failure was used by God to help Peter become the mighty apostle we read about in Acts. 

Do you see what I mean about failure? God is able to use it for good in our lives. God can even turn it into an avenue of service. 

Do you feel totally guilt-ridden, as though you've had a fatal failure? Please understand this marvelous truth:  Jesus is in the business of restoration and recovery. Your failure can be your back door to a new beginning.

What’s Your Score?

Many people think the Christian motto is “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Luke 6:31. People often evaluate a Christian’s sincerity by how well they live this out. Whether or not it is a valid measure, and whether or not we are conscious of it, this verse is a key factor in our testimony. Based on that, if you were under the scrutiny of an official critic, what kind of a rating would you receive?

This question becomes a grim thought as I observe behavior in the church parking lot, or eavesdrop on a phone conversation in the church office, or watch as committee members gather for a meeting, or watch myself getting in line to board a plane. It is disheartening to see that Christians are often unkind, belligerent and inconsiderate. It makes me stop to think through my own conduct. In specific terms, what would happen if I really began to treat others the way I would want to be treated? How about you?

Well, imagine that you’re driving to work, and a person is trying to move over into your lane. Instead of getting angry, you would think, "You know, I'm going to do for this person what I would want this person to do for me." So, you slow down and let them in the lane. 

Now, you're pulling into the parking lot on this rainy morning, and you see a co-worker without an umbrella. You remember how miserable it is to start the day rain-soaked, so you rush over and share your umbrella, and in the process you get to know them a little better.

Imagine you’ve just arrived at work and you get a call from a very upset customer. Normally you might feel you’re getting treated unfairly and you would get defensive. But the Holy Spirit reminds you to put yourself in their shoes. That will help you respond with the thought, “I can understand how this might upset that customer." By putting yourself in that customer's shoes, you're going to say the right words and try to solve their problem. Otherwise, if you had gotten defensive, your tone of voice might have been harsh, you might have been abrupt, and the problem could have gotten worse.

Have you ever put yourself in your manager's shoes? I notice that employees tend to blame their managers without ever stopping to think about what that manager has to deal with. Think about who they report to, the budget problems they're facing, the reduction in staff they're trying to cope with, etc. If you were in their shoes, how would you want your employees to treat you?

When we develop this ability to put ourselves in the other person's shoes, we reduce our own stress. For example, if I'm dealing with a co-worker who is negative, complaining and irritable most of the time, I can reduce the stress they bring into my life by stopping and thinking, "Yeah, but if I didn't know Jesus, I'd be that way, too, or worse." That allows you to be compassionate, even with a person who is less than pleasant.

Your kindness will result in people responding more positively to you. You will discover new friendships, you will gain a greater sense of peace, you will have wider influence, you will be more successful. But the real benefit is, it will make you a better representative of Jesus Christ. Your testimony will ring true. Who knows what impact that might have on others.

I want to remember to pray Luke 6:31 into my life daily. You, too, may want to ask God to empower you to treat others the way you would want to be treated. It's a very simple approach to life, but it could score you a ten and change your life.

It’s All Tied Up

Remember when Jesus asked two disciples to get him a donkey for a ride into Jerusalem? This donkey was tied up, and Jesus instructed them to untie it and bring it to him. It had to take a little bit of nerve to walk up to this colt and start untying it. It wasn’t their colt.

When they started to untie it, the owners asked them what they were doing. I can imagine that they were a little perturbed to see two strangers taking their prized colt. But when the disciples explained that Jesus needed this colt, they were more than willing to let him use it.

They must have known Jesus in some way. Maybe they had heard Jesus speak; maybe they'd seen him heal someone or cast out a demon. I don't believe they would have let that donkey go if they hadn't met and known Jesus. But once they knew the colt was for him, they were okay with it. As was true for them, when we've met Jesus, it is also a great joy for us to give something back to the Him. But often we miss God's blessings because what he wants to use, we have all tied up for ourselves.

As I read this, I thought, "What do I have tied up that the Lord wants to use?" I think many times we've got resources and abilities that God would use in his service, but they're all tied up. It may be time, or money, or a home, or other things.

When we hoard those things for our own use, we miss out on one of the greatest joys in life—that is to see how God would use us and what we have if we were willing to let him have access to it. If we would simply untie our treasure, we would be humbled and grateful for the experience of being used in some specific way to accomplish God’s purpose. That kind of fulfillment cannot be matched.

What we offer doesn't have to be fancy or splendid. All that God asks for is availability.

What have you got tied up that Jesus wants to use?

Change Your Attitude With the ABC's

A friend said, "Mary, I've just been in the dumps lately, thinking about being single, wishing I were married, feeling lonely, feeling sorry for myself. What do I do?" Maybe the answer I gave her will be helpful to you, too.

I simply said, "Linda, start praising God." She knew the principle but had just forgotten to practice it.

The next week she told me, "I went home and started praising God for all his goodness to me and in short order, my spirits were lifted, the self-pity was gone, and I was able to truly be thankful for who I am and what I have."

Praising God changes us. Maybe you know the principle, too, but you just haven't practiced it lately. This is not something we learn once and for all. Becoming a person of praise is a daily lesson.

Here's one way I’ve found to get praise started, even when I don’t feel like it: Go through the alphabet thinking of one word per letter that expresses why you should praise God. A—he's almighty, B—he's benevolent, C—He's coming again—and on and on. By the time you get to the end, your attitude will be adjusted; your perspective will be changed.

Please, let me know how it goes for you.

How Did You Get De-Railed?

Are you paying attention? I’m talking about keeping tuned in to what you know about God. What happens when we just coast, or when we get lazy about our faith?

For one thing, anxiety and unrest move in. Discontent seeps in when we have not been practicing what we have been taught. Look at what Isaiah said:

Isaiah 48:17-18   I am the Lord your God who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea.

"If you had paid attention..." Isaiah wrote. It's rarely a deliberate decision on our part to wander from God's principles. It's usually just a simple failure to pay attention. Our focus gets fractured; our center moves slightly off-center, because in some small ways we have failed to pay attention. A little side step gets us off-track, and then the next step gets us further away. Like a train, once de-railed we go into a skid. And the result is loss: loss of peace, loss of blessings, loss of fellowship.

If you're feeling anxious, or restless, or out of sorts today, check it out. Have you failed to pay attention to God's will for you? Stop and take inventory. Where have you stopped doing what you knew you should? You can get back on-track, and know peace again and have the fellowship you've been missing. ‘Fess up and let God cleanse you first, and then turn back to get on the rails again.

One Way In

Has God changed lately? It seems like it when you examine the attitudes you rub shoulders with every day. But let’s take a closer look.

Many people today shape God into a form they can manipulate and re-model as they wish. Many people want to come to God on their terms, expecting God to compromise His standards when necessary, to change His word, to make an exception. But is God like that?

Hebrews 13:8   Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. This verse is pretty clear. It says God is immutable—He never changes, His principles never change.

If we want to come to God then, it needs to be on His terms, not ours. But the good news is God's door is always open if we will come in His way, and that's through Jesus Christ, and Him alone.

John 14:6   Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

It’s settled then. God hasn’t changed; He is always the same. And there is only one way into fellowship with Him. I’m going to meditate on that today. How about you?