God Won't Let You Go!

Some years ago, on a hot summer day in South Florida, a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went. He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake-- an alligator was swimming toward the shore.

His father working in the yard saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, he ran toward the water, yelling to his son as loudly as he could. Hearing his voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his father. It was too late. Just as he reached his father, the alligator reached him. From the dock, the father grabbed his little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs.

That began an incredible tug-of-war between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the father, but the father was much too passionate to let go. A farmer happened to drive by, heard his screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator.

Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal. And, on his arms, were deep scratches where his father's fingernails dug into his flesh in his effort to hang on to the son he loved.

The newspaper reporter who interviewed the boy after the trauma asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, "But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Dad wouldn't let go."

You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars, too. No, not from an alligator, but the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep pain or regret. But, some wounds, my friend, are because God has refused to let go. In the midst of your struggle, He's been there holding on to you. The Scripture teaches that God loves you. You are a child of God. He wants to protect you and provide for you in every way. But sometimes we foolishly wade into dangerous situations, not knowing what lies ahead. The swimming hole of life is filled with peril - and we forget that the enemy is waiting to attack.

That's when the tug-of-war begins - and if you have the scars of His love on your arms, be very, very grateful. He did not and will not ever let you go.

You just never know where a person is in his/her life and what they are going through. Never judge another persons scars, because you don't know how they got them. Right now, someone needs to know that God loves them, and you love them, too . Enough to not let them go.

Is Everybody Happy?

Most people would tell you that their ambition in life is to be happy.  How often I’ve heard a mother say something like, “All I want for my children is to be happy.”  No doubt I’ve said it or thought it myself.

Happiness, for most people, would be a life without major problems, a life with no significant worries, enough money to do what you want to do, good relationships to fulfill your need for love and community, etc., etc.  Or, to put it another way, happiness is life the way I want it to be.

Then along comes Jesus and turns the whole happiness thing on its ears!  Imagine if you were listening to this itinerant preacher along the Galilee, thinking he was going to bring you free food and healing and hopefully freedom from Rome.  And instead, he says, “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matt. 10:39).  And then he says, “A man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions” (Luke 12:15b). 

This was revolutionary teaching, and you can be sure that not everyone bought it.  It went against their idea of happiness, and it goes against most people’s ideas today. What is your definition of happiness?  It is revealed in the way you live your life, the way you spend your time and money, the priorities you establish, and the friends you pursue.

Happiness is a by-product of losing your life for the sake of Jesus and the gospel.  That means, putting others first, investing major portions of your time and energy and resources into the lives of others, giving up your “rights” and relinquishing control of your life’s plan to the Lord.

For far too many years, I was determined to find happiness my way, and it took me about ten years to figure out that I had failed miserably.  But when I finally gave it all over to Jesus, he has proven to me again and again that dying to self is the way to the abundant life he offers. 

You’ll never find happiness until you take self off the throne of your heart, and put Jesus there.  It really is quite that simple.

Stretched Beyond Measure

Can you think of some moments in your life when your mental and emotional condition was so frail, so battered, so exhausted that you wondered if you were losing it? Bad news often comes in bunches and we feel bombarded at times.  I think of a woman who has recently received bad news about her health, on top of bad news about one of her children, and then she lost her job!  At times like these you truly can feel as though you’re losing your sanity.

It’s undoubtedly what Job experienced when his world suddenly collapsed on him.  And though he never cursed God, as you read his story you see how there were times when his mental and emotional strength was stretched beyond measure.  At one point he said, “I cry out to you, O God, but you do not answer; I stand up, but you merely look at me” (Job 30:20).

If that’s where you are today—feeling as though you could lose your mind because life is so hard—I want to encourage you to remember that God has not and will not let go of you.  To keep your sanity, keep your mind on Jesus.  Isaiah 26:3 says, “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.”  Paul wrote that “the mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace” (Romans 8:6).  When Satan is trying to literally drive you crazy, stand firm on the promise of God that he will keep you sane by his Spirit.  

"The Cleavage Gap"

A friend recently sent me an article entitled “The Cleavage Gap,” written by Sue Edwards, an Assistant Professor of Christian Education at Dallas Theological Seminary.  She was teaching a class on how to work with men in ministry, and these women were bemoaning the provocative way women dress these days, while four of these very women were, as Sue puts it, “showing enough cleavage to distract any man in our midst.” 

Let me include an excerpt from her article:

I don't expect immature believers, and certainly non believers, to dress modestly. But these are leaders, the ones who set the standard for others. I'm trying to get into the heads of these leaders who don't get the cleavage gap. What are they thinking? Maybe...

• It's impossible to buy stylish clothes today without showing cleavage, so I'm giving in.
• I've worked hard and long on this body, and, by golly, I'm going to show it off.
• My husband might secretly be drawn to other women if they show theirs, so I better show mine.
• I want to be loved and I'll never get a man's attention any other way.
• It's hot and I want to wear something cool.
• It's not my fault if men can't handle it. Women have been blamed too long for men's lust. I'll flaunt it just to show them, a similar attitude to feminist's bra burning back in the sixties.
• I'm too busy to be bothered by this issue. Men need to get over it.

I wonder if these women realize how much their insensitivity hurts our chances of being taken seriously by men. Seems to me when we show cleavage, we back up what men have said and thought about women for centuries. We care more about the power of our sexuality than we do about its effect on our brothers. We aren't thinking about the long term impact of our choices, just about how cute we look today. Or maybe it's too much trouble for busy women to assess the effect of the gap. That's understandable for immature women who don't know better. But not for leaders with far-reaching influence.

  

Sue goes on to say that whatever the reason that women who truly love Jesus, who would never intentionally cause a man to lust, still dress inappropriately, she has found no solutions.  I share her frustration.  In the past we talked about the issue of dressing modestly at one of our luncheons, I’ve talked to various groups of women about it, I’ve interviewed and videotaped some men in our church and asked how it affects them, I’ve recommended Nancy Leigh DeMoss’s book, “Modesty: Does God Really Care What I Wear?”  Since it seems to be a message that embarrasses people, or makes them uncomfortable—or resentful or angry—I guess I’ve abandoned my efforts to do more on making women in our church aware of the “cleavage gap” and how it affects men—and what kind of testimony it presents to the world.  After all, I tell myself, I’m not the fashion police of The Moody Church!

It’s a topic that deserves our attention.  If you have any suggestions on how we can communicate the biblical message of dressing modestly to the women in our church in a more effective way, I’m all ears.  Meanwhile, I pass these thoughts on to you for your contemplation.

it’s not always your FAULT!

by Florence MacKenzie 
This article was originally published in Just Between Us, Spring 2012

Rowan, our English Springer Spaniel, puzzled us recently. While my husband and I were eating, Rowan suddenly became extremely attentive, to the point where he became a nuisance. One of the ways he lets us know he wants out is by tugging gently on one of our sleeves. He did this a few times during our meal, so we gave him the benefit of the doubt and opened the door for him to go outside.  Normally, he would settle down with a chew toy after coming back inside, but on this occasion he continued to jump up and tug at our clothes. We gave him a further opportunity to go out, which he took, but carried on in the same way when he came back indoors. 

Let me fill you in on some background. A few minutes before our meal, a glass tumbler had fallen onto the kitchen floor and shattered. I was concerned that Rowan might stand on the broken glass, so I ushered him out of the kitchen while I cleared up the mess. We then sat down to dinner and Rowan began his antics.

Then it dawned on me! Knowing Rowan is a sensitive dog, I think he believed he was responsible for breaking the tumbler and his over-attentiveness toward us arose from a desire for reassurance. I suppose he interpreted being moved to another room as some form of punishment for this “crime”, when in reality he was put elsewhere to protect him from the painful effects of walking on broken glass. He felt guilty about something he didn’t do!

How many of us are like this sometimes? We take on board false guilt over circumstances completely outside our control. Maybe it’s in a marriage relationship, where we blame ourselves for things not working out well, forgetting that there is another half to our partnership who may not be pulling his or her weight. Or perhaps we do this in a work context, thinking it’s our fault that the boss is in a bad mood, when the reason for this might be nothing to do with us at all.

Our thinking really does impact how we feel and one way we can begin to manage our various emotions is to pay attention to what we allow ourselves to think. Over time, layers of faulty thinking build up in our minds and these can have a negative effect on our feelings. For example, when we believe something that isn’t true, our thinking goes down a wrong route and we run the risk of responding in an emotionally inappropriate way.

This happened to me a few days ago when I received no reply to an email I had sent to one of my friends. When my initial thought of “she’s probably busy” began to change to “maybe she doesn’t appreciate my friendship”, I knew it was time to stop this faulty thinking, especially as I was beginning to feel a little tetchy at not getting a reply! I had to remind myself that my friend has a lot of responsibilities which take up her time and the fact she hadn’t yet gotten around to replying to me was no reflection on the quality of our friendship. When I took this more accurate perspective, I no longer felt irritable. However, even if my friend had made a conscious decision to ignore my email, I can still choose my thoughts, attitudes and emotions. It’s good to know that none of us needs to be a victim of our thought patterns and emotional responses.

THINK ABOUT YOUR THINKING…

…by asking whether a thought is true (Philippians 4:8). A lot of our stress in life comes from thinking things that aren’t true. We find ourselves listening to (and perhaps believing) gossip, holding on to thoughts of false guilt, and speculating about the future.

…by acknowledging your thoughts and attitudes need to be renewed (Ephesians 4:23). Let’s not fool ourselves by holding on to those layers of faulty thinking that need to be peeled away.

…by allowing God to transform you by changing what you think about (Romans 12:2). This involves the continual reprogramming of our minds to bring our thoughts back into line with the truth of God’s Word. If we want to alter the way we feel, perhaps we should try identifying the thinking leading to that feeling. 

Hey, Rowan, did you get that?

is WORRY choking your faith?

Our invited guest Florence MacKenzie wrote this article for managing your emotions, published in Just Between Us, Winter 2011.

Are you a worrier? I am. After all, there often seems good reason to worry. Am I not being irresponsible if I don’t worry in some situations? Could it be that, by worrying, I’m actually making it less likely that the thing I’m worried about will happen? Is worry, therefore, serving a useful function? The answer, of course, is NO!

The word worry comes from the Old English, meaning to choke or strangle. It also carries the idea of being pulled in different directions. Worry pulls you apart. It’s very divisive. Have you ever noticed that worry divides your mind? You find you cannot focus on the task in front of you because worrying about something else distracts you and divides your attention. Worry also divides your will. It’s hard to make even the smallest decisions when you’re worried. One minute you’re making one decision, the next you’re pulled in the opposite direction and are considering making a different decision. Worry also divides your emotions. Sometimes it appears you’re in control of your feelings; at other times worry pulls your emotions in all sorts of directions so you end up not really knowing how you feel.

I was reading in Matthew’s gospel recently where Jesus gave some straight talk on worry to His disciples. He told them not to worry about everyday life; or about having enough food, drink and clothes; or about tomorrow. He concluded his teaching on worry by commenting on what little faith His disciples had. This made me wonder about the connection between worry and faith. Did they have a problem with worry because they had a problem with faith? If so, might the same be true of me? Perhaps if my faith were stronger and healthier, worry wouldn’t have such a stranglehold over me. This realization came to me when I was walking around our yard. Let me tell you about it.

We live in a house with a large outdoor area which is mostly made up of grass. Neither my husband nor I are keen gardeners and, as a result, the quality of our grass is less than perfect. As I looked at the grass on my recent walk-about, I could see all sorts of things growing there that we hadn’t planted, like moss, clover, dandelion, and lots of others I couldn’t name! Somewhere among these weeds was the grass we had planted but it was being crowded out by these invaders. That’s when it hit me – the unwelcome weeds taking over our grass were like worries that choke the life of faith in us.

But what could we do about it? Given the huge size of the yard, there was no way we could pull these weeds out individually. We knew from past experience that new weeds would soon take root to replace the ones we had removed. I had recently read that the key to controlling weeds is to keep the grass as healthy as possible. So, instead of the weeds crowding out the grass, perhaps the grass would begin to crowd out the weeds if we spent more time tending it by feeding and watering it regularly. From that point on, growing a healthy lawn became our main gardening goal! Do you see how this relates to the need to focus more on building up the “grass” of our faith rather than concentrating primarily on getting rid of the “weeds” of worry in our lives?

But how might you do this? Why not try these “faith-builders”:

·         FOCUS on the truth that it is impossible to please God without faith (Hebrews11:6).

·         FIX your eyes on Jesus on whom your faith depends from start to finish (Hebrews12:2).

·         FEED your faith by reminding yourself of the many promises found in the Bible.

·         FILL unoccupied moments with praise to God, for example, while stopped at a red light or standing in line at the grocery store.

·         FREE up a few minutes each day to appreciate how blessed you are─and then thank God for this!

·         FOLLOW through on replenishing relationships by getting in touch with people who will refresh you spiritually and emotionally.

·         FINISH the day by thanking God for the faith He has given you and ask Him to show you how you can keep translating it into action.

Let’s make it really hard for worry to choke our faith!

Florence MacKenzie has a degree in psychology and a diploma in expository preaching. She is the author of several books, including Destructive Emotions: Facing up to Guilt, Fear and Anger. She also ministers with her husband James through Equipped for Living (http://www.equippedforliving.org).

Coming In By the Back Door

Many people feel their lives are ruined because of some failure in their past. Ruined might be too strong a word, but relentless shame or a feeling of disgrace may plague them.

I remember when I failed terribly in front of some of my peers in a business meeting. My behavior was unkind and out of control—truly sad. Even worse, one of those peers was a man who I had been trying to help in his walk with God.  

As I thought about what I did, I wanted to run away. But the Spirit of God led me not only to go back, but to share my feelings of failure with my friend. The next day I told him how sorry I was that I had failed to be Christ-like in my actions. I also shared that I had been forgiven by God and that the failure was not fatal in God's sight. Then I learned that one of my friend’s greatest struggles was dealing with his own failures, and from that experience he began to understand that his own failures were not fatal either. 

God specializes in taking our failures and turning them into avenues of blessing and growth if we will allow him to. The Apostle Peter is a good example of how God can turn our failures into stepping stones.  

Just before Peter failed Jesus by denying him, Jesus said to him, "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail." Yet, knowing the great failure Peter was to face in just a few short hours, Jesus did not treat him with contempt.   

People hold our failures against us; Jesus doesn't. People refuse to give you second-chances; Jesus doesn't. People look at failure as the end of the road; Jesus sees it as a place of new beginning. 

Jesus told Peter he had already prayed for him, that "when you have turned back," he would strengthen his brothers. Jesus believed that even though Peter was going to fail miserably, he could have a comeback. As a result of failing and coming back, Peter would be able to strengthen his brothers. Though it wasn't right for Peter to fail Jesus as he did, nonetheless that failure was used by God to help Peter become the mighty apostle we read about in Acts. 

Do you see what I mean about failure? God is able to use it for good in our lives. God can even turn it into an avenue of service. 

Do you feel totally guilt-ridden, as though you've had a fatal failure? Please understand this marvelous truth:  Jesus is in the business of restoration and recovery. Your failure can be your back door to a new beginning.